AKA Wallace Green, Staniel is a mythical beast that roams the Oregon wilderness, snatching
people up and taking them into his shack. You can lure him calmly by playing Dixies Land on a
banjo and aggravate him by playing the union version, you can NOT lure him with any digital music videos of audio files of Dixies Land, it must be an authentic recreation on a banjo. You
may attempt to tame him by giving him your banjo and wait for him to play one of many songs, once the song gets intense you must start hamboning while screaming gibberish or yee-haw! Once you have tamed him he
may be your personal bodygaurd for upwards of 3 weeks and downwards of 3 days, he will flee if you try to bring him into a city. (Note: you must not look
like a "City Slicker" or else he
may try to kill you with a double-barrel shotgun".
:Hey dude I think I saw Staniel over there.
:Wait- really!?, quick, grab the banjo!
:I thought you were bringing it!
:Oh my
god, we are so fucked.
:Wait... nope thats just a dirty
hobo.
:God damnit
clyde.