An imaginary form of measurement usually used to subversively make people want to end their own lives in annoyance at repeated "shmeables". To really impress your friends never stop using shmeables, even in life or death situations, always respond as such: "meh, about 3 or 4 shmeables".
Idiot with no shmeables: hey how much money you got on you?
Chad with Shmeables: meh, like 2-5 shmeables
Idiot with no shmeables: *seething*
A Shmeeble is a fictional creature about 8–18 inches long with seven legs and cat-like coloring, known for headbutting objects, eating through its nose, and reproducing asexually through a self-severing regeneration process
Jimmy, don’t touch that shmeeble—you might scare it and make it act erratically.