Well... I know a man his age (76) should have produced about 24,320lbs (11,030 kg) of shit in his lifetime so far. If we convert those 76 years into days we have 27759 days. Now it is normal and healthy to have a bowel movement anywhere between three times a week to three times a day, but my dad always ate dinner at the same time and used the bathroom approximately once a day. Therefore we can conclude that he has shat approximately 27759 times in his lifetime, maybe a little less or a little more. If we divide those 24,320lbs he has dropped in his lifetime with the days he has lived, we should get 0,87lbs which is 0,39kg and therefore we can take a guess and say that his last shit weighted about 0,87 pounds or 0,39kg. Now the average weight of a human log is around 1/4 of a pound to 1 pound (or 0,11kg to 0,45kg). With this information we can tell that the turd was a little on the skinny side but he is healthy and probably doing well. This is shitistics.

shitistics by wanwanwan September 21, 2022

Related Words

shititties • shtitties • Shit titty • shit-kitty • stitties • shititis • shittiest • sexititties • Shitistis • Shitistist

shittiest musician ever

A shitty musician new to the interweb trying to make his tea bag records less of a failure by hiding the truth from urban dictionary

skillless asshat musik

Rather than improve his craft the shittiest musician ever blames everyone else then scours the internet to find critical reviews and bitch at them

shittiest musician ever by folded cache out June 1, 2013

Ripping shitties

The act of performing a doughnut.

"I was ripping shitties in front of Wal-Mart the other day."

Ripping shitties by Shit ripper November 13, 2011

shititis

1.a chronic bowel movement causing many unexpected trips to the toilet, similar to the squirts
2. having to shit more than usual on any given day

I was late for work due to a bad case of shititis.
All that beer and cajun food I had last night gave me shititis.

shititis by Andy A. July 28, 2008

subtitties

suhb-tit-eez
n. Tits so good that the tits got their own titties.

A: yo even her titties got titties
B: naw man those are subtitties

subtitties by Master Ching Chong October 16, 2013

whipping shitties

Same as doing cookies or donuts.

"Lets go whip some shitties, bro"

"Where were you?"
"Whipping shitties in the parking lot of the cheese factory"

whipping shitties by McTightass April 6, 2014

God Shot

A chance happening with profound meaning, an unexpected blessing, a "sign".

Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab said "All of a sudden what had been just another Hollywood proposal became for him an unexpected blessing, an opportunity for growth. In drug recovery language, that's called a "God shot."

God Shot by Imogen1564 February 25, 2011

Word of the Day on September 18, 2026

city chicken

A food native to Pittsburgh/Western Pennsylvania in which cubes of pork and/or veal are put on a short, wooden skewer, breaded, then baked and/or fried.

I've heard that city chicken originated during the Great Depression, when folks didn't have enough money to buy full cuts of meat, so they assembled meat scraps on a wooden skewer, creating a make-shift drumstick. Hence the name.

Are yinz havin' city chicken for dinner?

city chicken by TRF August 31, 2006

Word of the Day on September 17, 2026

Is that cake?

Another way to say is this fake? Like the show real or cake

“Slayyyter just announced another album last night”
“No way, is that cake?”
“Yeah whoops this isn’t real”

Is that cake? by Sexyyred September 15, 2026

Word of the Day on September 16, 2026

just fokin missing her

native american reservation origin... to miss an ex so badly that everyone can see it.. can be used for either sex eg. just fokin missing her/him

friend : *noticably sad*
me : look at you all sad & shit
friend : shut up!
me : just fokin missing her huh?

just fokin missing her by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026

Word of the Day on September 15, 2026

endwarfins

The rush of neurotransmitters and neuropeptides triggered specifically by watching the Seven Dwarfs march home singing "Heigh-Ho" — that particular high of pickaxes, whistling while you work, and communal domestic bliss in a cottage built for men half your height.

I only meant to watch the Heigh-Ho scene for the endwarfins, and then it was two hours later and I'd watched the whole movie.

Endwarfins aren't just a Snow White thing — I get the same hit off the Lollipop Guild in Oz.

endwarfins by Howard Ogden September 13, 2026

Word of the Day on September 14, 2026

caillou

A slang term used to describe a bald person, typically someone who is completely bald or has a closely shaved head. The term is derived from the infamous, hairless kids’ cartoon character of the same name.

Example 1:
“Did you see that caillou over there? His head is reflecting the sun like a disco ball.”
Example 2:
“I think Dave is finally accepting his hair loss. He just went full caillou and shaved the whole thing off.”

caillou by WMH01 September 12, 2026

Word of the Day on September 13, 2026