shitistics 

calculating the mass of someones life time shit production based on their diet and health

Well... I know a man his age (76) should have produced about 24,320lbs (11,030 kg) of shit in his lifetime so far. If we convert those 76 years into days we have 27759 days. Now it is normal and healthy to have a bowel movement anywhere between three times a week to three times a day, but my dad always ate dinner at the same time and used the bathroom approximately once a day. Therefore we can conclude that he has shat approximately 27759 times in his lifetime, maybe a little less or a little more. If we divide those 24,320lbs he has dropped in his lifetime with the days he has lived, we should get 0,87lbs which is 0,39kg and therefore we can take a guess and say that his last shit weighted about 0,87 pounds or 0,39kg. Now the average weight of a human log is around 1/4 of a pound to 1 pound (or 0,11kg to 0,45kg). With this information we can tell that the turd was a little on the skinny side but he is healthy and probably doing well. This is shitistics.

shitistics by wanwanwan September 21, 2022

shitistics 

The mathematical process by which one or a group measures the quality and size of their shits. A way to compare shits between competing friends/enemies. There is an average shit for humanity, as taken by Jesus Christ unto St. Peter's face (the Holy Shit), and shits greater than or less than the Holy Shit is measured by standard deviation in terms of chippermonkeys. Shitistics apply to size, girth, smell, denisty, color, and toilet clogging ability. Shitistics are measured by a neutral arbiter in a "who took the biggest shit" dispute.

Jason: Shit dude, I took a huge shit this morning.

Matt: What are the shitistics you shithead?

Jason: Size: 1.2 chippermonkeys, Girth: 3.8 chippermonkeys, Smell: 2.8 chippermonkeys, Density: -1.9 chippermonkeys, Color: 0.2 chippermonkeys, Toilet Clogging: 10.0 chippermonkeys.

Matt: I guess thats a decent shit.

Jason: Shit, I had to buy new socks.

Matt: Tell Craig to come measure the shitistics on the deuce I just dropped.

shitistics by Cream Puff69 October 13, 2012

AP Statistics 

A class taken by many high school students to avoid taking Calculus. Little do they know, it's merely the unaborted result of a drunken one night stand between Math and English that inherited the ugly traits from both of it's parents. This little shit is deceptive. Students will enter the class with high hopes, but as the year progresses they slowly tumble into the black pit of never ending despair and existential dread as they realize that nothing can save them from the void of misery that is the approaching AP Exam.

Student 1: I'm going to avoid taking Calculus by taking AP Statistics.

Student 2: Good luck, fam. I'll pray for you.

AP Statistics by I_dont_like_sand_ November 9, 2016

shititis 

1.a chronic bowel movement causing many unexpected trips to the toilet, similar to the squirts
2. having to shit more than usual on any given day

I was late for work due to a bad case of shititis.
All that beer and cajun food I had last night gave me shititis.

shititis by Andy A. July 28, 2008

AP Statistics 

The class that uninformed students take in attempt to avoid AP Calculus.
Students begin the year with high hopes, learning about simple probability distributions and elementary data calculations. Around the time the "oh, I don't need to try in this class" attitude sets in, the course picks up and students are slammed with the first difficult concept of the course: Proprties of Linear Regression. While many students can handle this unit, many fall behind and begin contemplating suicide. As the class progresses into Experimental Design and probability models, students are overwhelmed with continuous stress and tears. The concepts are too abstract and students may begin feeling as though the work is pointless. Around this time, they give up.
Shortly after the giving up phase, the class takes a turn to the topic of Inference, which no one actually knows anything about because everyone's sleeping. Confidence Intervals and T-Tests are emphasized. The dreaded Chi-Square tests end the course before the halting AP Exam, and the students are pounded with THE most difficult and grueling AP Examination offered and again get a final taste of how hopeless they really are. After the AP Exam, AP Stats students generally fall to become depressed because this class has quite frankly screwed up their minds. They begin noticing flaws in data all around the world and can't fathom exactly WHY they care.. they have been brainwashed by the one, and the only.. AP Stats.

Jake: Hey dude why are you so down?

Ryan: I just got out of AP Statistics class. Today we did Confidence Intervals for the difference of two proportions and my mind's in a whirl and I can't stop thinking about how my suicide will effect the standard deviation of the US life expectancy.. And the spread of the districution will become skewed right and...

Jake: (interrupts) .....

AP Statistics by MoonWonder May 19, 2010

shitiotic 

a build up for a insult to add impact.

a bad plan

the combination of the words shit and idiotic

a step up from idiotic

im not doing it twice, that would just be shitiotic.

go fuck yourself you, shitiotic fucktard!
whoever came up with this plan is just shitiotic.
That is the most shitiotic thing i have ever herd.

shitiotic by lousethymaster June 30, 2011

Statistics AP 

A division of math that requires much writing and analytical thought. Taken by AP nerds, those hellbent on going to the 'best' colleges, or by those with a masochistic streak. Can be taken in place of Caluculus, or, for those who really enjoy self-punishment, concurrently. Mostly taken by seniors.

I'm taking Statistics AP this year because I don't feel like taking Calc AP, but my year wouldn't be hellish enough without it.

Statistics AP by Ms. Midori February 17, 2009