Rewards 

I used to hate rewards programs but this one is alright.

Iam "Yo! Let's go! 9 bucks in my rewards today! Where did that come from? Nice!"

Hym "It's it sad that the only opportunities some people are presented in life are whether or not they want to continue to suffer at the hands of others? The only rewards a timely death?

Iam "What? Yeah... I mean, I guess... Why? That's not like you..."

Hym "WRONG! It's hilarious! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Iam "Ok... That's what I would expect."

Hym "It was a little forced but, hey, you know what I'm all about"

Rewards by Hym Iam May 18, 2022

rewards card 

a credit-card sized piece of plastic that is inherently worthless. almost all companies in existence have these rewards cards. they are designed to build customer loyalty, but actually only build customer frustration.

employee: "do you have your rewards card?"
customer: "i don't have a rewards card."
employee: "let's get you signed up!"
customer: "what will it get me?"
employee: "it's a great program."
customer: "but what will it get me?"
employee: "um... it's a great program..."
customer: "i know, you said that. what will the rewards card get me?"
employee: "nothing, really, but my boss makes me ask..."
customer: "..."

rewards card by taekwondoangel1 June 21, 2009

Rewards are not real

What do you actually have after you've been rewarded? Answer: The same thing you would have had the "reward" not been WITHHELD FROM YOU DELIBERATELY IN EXCHANGE FOR COMPLIANCE.

Hym "Therefore: REWARDS ARE NOT REAL. A reward is nothing more than intercepting the needs or desires of someone else and WITHHOLDING that need or desire to use as a form of leverage.

Rewards are not real by Hym Iam September 7, 2025

Beerback Rewards 

The process of taking your empty beer cans to a recycling center for petty cash in order to buy more beer.

I'm so broke right now that I had to start saving my beer cans so I could take advantage of my beerback rewards.

Beerback Rewards by bdrguez September 2, 2013

Microsoft rewards 

A very racist rewards site. You can get more points based on which country you are. In America you can get a lot of points. In any other European country other than Germany you get shit

Microsoft rewards is racist

Microsoft rewards by CookedCat August 7, 2022

Fetch rewards

A pyramid scheme

Guy 1: Do you use Fetch Rewards?
Guy 2: Ya! I love pyramid schemes?

Fetch rewards by Fetch reward hater69420 March 4, 2022

crown rewards card 

yet another meaningless rewards card that is forced upon unsuspecting hallmark customers when they attempt to purchase anything at a hallmark store.

clerk: "find everything you were looking for?"
customer: "yes, thank you."
clerk: "do you have your crown rewards card?"
customer: "no, i-"
clerk: "you need one. for real. fill this out. it'll change your life."
customer: "but i-"
clerk: "DO IT NOW!!"
customer: *obeys*

crown rewards card by taekwondoangel1 June 21, 2009