read the bible 

A term used to disguise the act of smoking pot.

"Hey Jimmy, wanna come over and read the bible?"

"Ok, sounds good, i'll bring my lighter"

read the bible by Kentt August 4, 2007

read the bible 

A synonym for masturbate.

screennameone: why aren't you responding?
screennametwo: sorry man I had to read the bible. hot porn.
screennameone: that's sick man

read the bible by Jenn Huls May 27, 2006

read the bible 

reading the bible is nothing other than fucking with your loved ones <33

for example:

"wanna read the bible tonight?"

"ofc babe I'll be there in 5 minutes"

read the bible by defnoturgirl January 8, 2022

To read the Bible 

To masterly beat the nob

Achmed: ay where you going
Jerome: To read the bible. Ill be right back

To read the Bible by Big Nob Kyle October 30, 2019

and we read the bible

alright kids

and we read the bible like chuck norris ego

and we read the bible by AHHAHAHAHA Lol June 4, 2019

illiterate people can’t read the bible 

Used when people don’t understand that something is smart/good because they lack understanding of the subject.

“Don’t worry dude, your album/movie/project isn’t bad, illiterate people can’t read the bible”

illiterate people can’t read the bible by muwtu May 3, 2020

How Christians Read the Bible 

By presupposing it's truth and then create a narrative that is parallel to the text and then accepting this adjacent narrative AS TRUTH... Regardless of what the text actually says.

Hym "And then what they do is believe the narrative that is constructed around the text... In spite of the FACT that it is a manifestation of their own mind. So, it doesn't matter WHAT YOU SAY... As long as the conclusion is that the religion is both true and good. And it looks something like this:

Dr. JeepJorp "Flabbity florbity flip flop! Everyone KNOWS that flabbity florbity flip flop and that = the Bible true and good!"

Sheeple "Hey! I'm everyone! You're right! I know that, I mean, come on. Do you think I don't know that flabbity florbity flip flop? Everyone know it!"

Hym "And that's how Christians read the Bible."

How Christians Read the Bible by Hym Iam June 14, 2024