Skip to main content
Urban Dictionary Merch
Your favorite words on things you can wear, drink from, read, or give to a friend.
The Urban Dictionary Store sells gifts you’ll have to explain.

If you read this 

I need help I am trapped in a dungeon that he calls his fun place I have had my whole body violated by the big man. He tells me I’ll be his berth mother but I’m not a e gurl
If you read this I’m in a dungeon -.-
If you read this by XxladykillerXx September 28, 2019

dont read this

omg you retard i said dont read this
dont read this by The Big Ham March 5, 2020

if you read this you are dumb 

haha your are now dumb
man: hey look at this sentence
other man: ok god dammit it now I am dumb bc I read it
man: you are now dumb bc it says if you read this you are dumb

Write for a large audience. Lots of people will read this, so give some background information. 

Don't name your friends. We'll reject inside jokes and definitions naming non-celebrities.
Write for a large audience. Lots of people will read this, so give some background information.

foot aids (u must read this in a italian accent)

Mario was walking with luigi and Mario was telling luigi not to let him fall but luigi was being an ignorant slut and wasn't listening to mario. Mario tripped and fell and screamed very loud that the entire school heard and saw the incident. It was all luigi's fault ! mario decided to take off his heels bc he didnt want to trip anymore in front of the hot males running around the high school. Mario took off his heels and was exposed to the cca concrete and instantly got foot aids.

When Mario and luigi were walking home mario couldnt help but complain about his foot aids. Then he dropped his phone and the LSD card shattered and he ended up having to pay 105$ for it to get fixed. Then mario and luigi realized that mario was lactose intolerant and he couldnt handle the whip cream. He hoped it was just a fart, then luigi started making fun of mario and mario started laughing so hard that he peed his pants. Then mario and luigi got home and changed marios pants, but mario still had foot aids. Marios laptop keyboard started to stop working and mario thought he was cursed because he forgot he had foot aids. Mario then searched up how to cleanse yourself of your sins. Then mario started doing the actions and luigi started making fun of mario and told him to get out of his house. Then luigi realized that it was just his foot aids and wasnt mad at him anymore. foot aids
"Mario, do you have foot aids?"
"Yes, mario has foot aids."
{foot aids (u must read this in a italian accent)}

Godzilla had a stroke trying to read this 

Is a funny comeback when someone comments with broken english on a post
Guy1: guys is the because funny fall he guy fall because have the because
Guy2: godzilla had a stroke trying to read this
More from Urban Dictionary
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
Literally "dirty" pronounced with a West Indian accent. Can also have a positive connotation, for example Sean Paul's album title "Dutty Rock".
"The girl is pretty but she corrupt and dutty!"

or, in a positive usage:

"Booya! That freestyle was dutty!"
Dutty by J Hall April 3, 2003
Word of the Day on October 1, 2026
Load more