Purchased

Bought

I purchased a cow

Purchased by Dapoggster October 4, 2023

!343HellstormH343! Zunilda Virginia Junco Purchased THe Ipod Nano !343HellstormH343! 

!343HellstormH343! Zunilda Virginia Junco Purchased THe Ipod Nano !343HellstormH343!

!343HellstormH343! Zunilda Virginia Junco Purchased THe Ipod Nano !343HellstormH343!

!343HellstormH343! Zunilda Virginia Junco Purchased THe Ipod Nano !343HellstormH343! by TheSpartanicaOfAnyHellstromu3e April 3, 2025

Attention Purchase 

When a guy so desperate for female attention he will use his dad's credit card to donate $100s to a random streamer, just to see his name on the screen or a "heart" on Youtube. Often found on Twitch cam streams and anything involving pokimane.

Joe: "Man I sent this girl on Twitch $500 and she said thanks!"
Jim: "Dude, talking to girls irl is free! Stop with the attention purchase!"

Attention Purchase by Based Fiend January 15, 2023

Proof of purchase 

The somewhat fishy smell left on your fingers after fingering a girl. It can prove to your buddy you hooked up with a girl.

"You want your proof of purchase *sniff*? THERE's your proof of purchase."

Proof of purchase by Yankees2000 January 22, 2009

virtue-purchase 

Similar to virtue signalling but done by means of buying trendy goods or services so as to display one's sense of contrived self-superiority: items such as books by politically correct authors, garish artwork purported to save rain-forests, or FairTrade coffee that makes the buyer feel woke; faddishly leftist buying habits that conform to intersectionality and other expressions of socially popular SJW pseudoscience, especially popular among university students.

Asheleigh-Meghan isn't going to actually read Michelle Obama's new book. She just bought it to put on the coffee table in case one of her black classmates shows up unexpectedly. It's more of a virtue-purchase.

virtue-purchase by Father Hollywood December 4, 2018

Pitty Purchasing

A secret form of manipulation commonly used by 4-14 year olds to get what they want. They often use this after receiving bad news, going to do or have just done something hard, or after doing something good. They use pitty as a good excuse to buy or do something that they would normally not be able to do or buy otherwise.

-Moooommmmmm, the dentist really hurt!!! Can we go to the toy store?
-No.
-Please........... It really hurts...............Owwwww.......
-No.

2 minutes later

-I'm sorry for being so annoying.... I'm over it....Owwwww.
-Would you stop trying to get me to do pitty purchasing. And we didn't even go to the dentist, you got a haircut.
-Awkward....

Pitty Purchasing by sportsdude88 March 16, 2010

And then a hobo walked out, burst into flames, and gave me a free refrigerator with a purchase of five dollars or more 

What you say at the end of a lame story, or during an awkward silence. Can be used instead of "and then I found 20 dollars" or "and that's why you never milk an ostrich"

Alana: So... I was walking yesterday, and I saw a llama. He looked at me, and then he fell asleep. So I went home because I was tired. And then I went to sleep. When I woke up it was 7:00 so I went to school

Amy:...

Alana: And then a hobo walked out, burst into flames, and gave me a free refrigerator with a purchase of five dollars or more

And then a hobo walked out, burst into flames, and gave me a free refrigerator with a purchase of five dollars or more by TheGreatKateWeatherMachine October 30, 2011