pensionered

Describing someone who is paralytically drunk. This could include, but is not limited to, the person shitting or pissing their pants.

1) We just sat about getting pensionered on brandy.
2) She got so pensionered that she shat her pants.

pensionered by Dyltong June 18, 2013

pensioners slap 

A poor substitute for a shower when cold water is used to pat under the arms, between the legs and on the face.

Did you have a shower this morning? Nah, couldn't be arsed. I just had a pensioners slap.

pensioners slap by Chutney Didsby July 24, 2014

Pensioner Pants 

Baggy trousers worn by old people. The waist is usually elasticated because the wearer has arthritic fingers incapable of fastening buttons and zips. The decrepit bag-wearer always forgets to wash these repulsive garments which end up smelling like a Paki's toilet on a particularly bad day. Pensioner Pants are very popular with obese, long-past-it security guards who bore you to death with tales of their holidays in South Africa.

Good God! Look at Pork Scotch! What's the old twat wearing now?

They're his Pensioner Pants. Had them since 1973 and never washed them.

Pensioner Pants by Flappy Dickwad June 3, 2009

pensioners piano 

A slots or pokies machine. Where pensioners go to spend their time before they kick the bucket.

Going to knock off work early and hit up the pensioners piano....you in?

pensioners piano by Mike Dibble April 27, 2020

pensioner

pensioner
An old guy who receives money for just being around a long time.

The pensioner is a useless old man.

pensioner by Apple Cider May 13, 2005

old age pensioner 

miserable tight old cunt who cant afford to buy a round of beer

person 1: oi its your round
person 2: i cant afford this im a old age pensioner

old age pensioner by vWarspite August 12, 2022

pensioner's leg 

A thin, pale, knobbly, veiny penis.

pensioner's leg by Anonymous September 2, 2003