The ancient, lost Book of the Stupid. Written and given over to
humanity by He-Who-Is-Unutterably-Dense. The tome was bound in the skins of ancient bananas. Legend tells
us that only the greatest idiots
may open its covers without losing every iota of intellect they ever bore. The mind of any other will be blasted to drivel. Fortunately, this leaves most of planet
Earth's current inhabitants perfectly safe.
The Moronicon
may be opened by the utterance of three magic words, spoken in any order, but these words are so stupid that the author has given you the benefit of the doubt and spared your intellect (as it were).