MUNingitis is a contagious and
chronic disease. It spreads just by existence - it does not need a medium. Popular mediums are position papers and chits. It is often spread when conferences of Model United Nations are held all around the world.
Several symptoms of the disease involve:
- Sudden need to wear formal clothes. This involves coats, suits and flashy looking ties with tiepins, and
snazzy watches of various brands. Women
don't count here. They can wear what they want and pass it off as formal.(Yes, I know, it's disgusting.)
- A sudden overuse of words undiscovered and unused in the
English vocabulary.
- You will often hear the terms "position papers", "delegate" and "motion to" from these victims.
- Often spotted with cheese
sandwich for lunch for lack of
time for the next session.
- Very vehement about the problems of the world. These often include unrealistic interpretations of the position of several African countries. Often uses global warming as a cover for any screwup.
- Believes the world must be saved, and no, the second law of thermodynamics does not apply.
- At times of sneezing uniquely uses a handkerchief to block the particles, wipes their nose saying it's cleaner to use a handkerchief, and smartly puts the dirty handkerchief to rot in the trouser pocket.
- Eats non vegetarian
food while saving the world.
- Believes they are a primordial society who preside over the uncivilized ones with no idea of the world. Often
people with (
literally) big heads are seen at the top of the MUN ladder.
There are several cures to this disease.
Cure 1:
1. Take a
hammer, wipe it with ethanol.
2. Capture an infected victim of MUNingitis and hit them softly on the head.
3. If the victim responds in
pain, do not proceed with the next step.
4. If the victim responds with a vehement swearword, rub the ethanol over their face saying "cool down".
5. If this does not work
break their heads with the
hammer. This should aid them to clear out the hot
air in their head.
Case 2:
1. At the lunchroom, guard the doors. Let all those who are not in formal attires to pass.
2. Sit the victims down and explain to them their situation.
3. If they react violently, explain to them it will all be soon taken care off.
4. Release laughing
gas all over the lunchroom.
5. Lock the doors and run away.
6. Return 2 hours later and retrieve what's left of the victims.
These two methods are guaranteed successes according to many doctors. There are many satisfied victims who are free from their Model United Nations bounds.
If you find any MUNingitis infected individual, please contact your nearest hospital - a mental asylum preferred.
