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Masturjoking 

When one tells a joke only to please themselves. The masturjoker often intends to please a crowd with their joke, but ultimately fails, and is the only one laughing.
Adam: "Man Alex thinks he is really funny, masturjoking over there. No one gets his humor."

Jess: "Well you always tell him to try out his jokes on kids first!"

Alex *laughing* "Oh man I'm so funny!!"
Masturjoking by Icebiker March 18, 2011

Masturoaching 

Not just the act of masturbating your cock, BUT the act of masturbating your cock while within seconds of achieving orgasm, a cockroach swoops right over your cock, causing you to jump and unload all over the place.
Example of Masturoaching:

You: "Eek...!" -moans/heavy panting-

Roommate: "WHAT!?!1one1?!"

-Awkward Silence-
Masturoaching by DomiNinja March 31, 2010

Masturtasking 

To masturbate while performing another task simultaneously
I was masturtasking the other day; finished my hw and was satisfied!

Masturtasking 

"I was masturtasking pretty hard last night. I was able to finish reading all my Spanish literature homework while masturbating."
Masturtasking by shanyshan November 20, 2010

masturpacing 

The act of pacing the room while masturbating, often characterized by bumping into furniture the closer you get to climax. Usually done late at night by insomniacs and results in a high amount of random bruising.
"Every night at like 3am we can hear his floorboards squeaking as he walks around. He must be masturpacing."
masturpacing by MsMufffin November 12, 2011

Masturbaking

Self pleasure through baking goods or cooking foods.
I caught my brother Masturbaking this weekend, it was a real mess and he didn't let me have any of the cake.