Masturbacing 

The act of furious masturbating with raw strips of bacon, in which the friction causes the bacon to begin to cook.

Todd was so pumped to go to Baconfest, that he couldn't stop himself from masturbacing before leaving.

Masturbacing by Smackie Dickcat April 26, 2014

masturbating to the dictionary 

A phrase used as a comeback to a Grammar Nazi or to someone who says “grammar is sexy” during a conversation. It can be used in any situation to respond to someone who tries to shame you on your grammar.

i.e.
txt msg exchange
Timmy: Yo Jake, you wanna come over to Jason’s place to smoke after school? Meghan and Jill are coming over and I’m sure your have a dope time with us.
Jake: You mean *you’ll have a dope time.
Timmy: Dude, are you masturbating to the dictionary at your house? Don’t be such a Grammar Nazi.

Lucy: Hey Jamie, do you think Alex is doing good today after the party last night? You think he’s interested in hanging out later?
Jamie: You mean, doing WELL after the party…? Damn Lucy, grammar is sexy just an fyi.
Lucy: Wtf Jamie, when did you start masturbating to the dictionary?

masturbating to the dictionary by runninghighkid August 4, 2018

Masturblazing 

Masturblazing the is act of masturbating whilst high, the purpose? Well why not.

Adam: Damn last night I passed around 8pm!
Cody: Why so early, loser
Adam: I was Masturblazing in my room ha

Masturblazing by MessyBRider May 28, 2013

masturbating

What you're doing when using urban dictionary.

I'm masturbating.

masturbating by ccthz January 27, 2021

furiously masturbating 

A type of masturbating practiced by reclusives who fear that their masturbatory time may be limited.

This is generally not the case, giving furious masterbaters a proclivity to masturbate a lot.

Instead of playing beer pong and sleazing on grimbos, Alex spent the night in his room, furiously masturbating.

furiously masturbating by AXAdartmouth April 16, 2009

masturbaginity 

The state of being pure, unsullied, or untouched by your own hands, esp. to orgasm; sexual self-gratification.

I'm almost ashamed to say Nikki Cox took my masturbaginity.

masturbaginity by TB82 January 16, 2009