I caught my brother Masturbaking this weekend, it was a real mess and he didn't let me have any of the cake.

Stuart found a stale french baguette in his bread bin and began masturbaking. To his horror it was soggy because his dad had already masturbaked in it earier that day.

"Stuart!, what are you doing with that bakery item?"
"Piss off Dad, I'm Masturbaking!"

Man, I made such a good batch of pumpkin bread last night, I started masturbaking while it was still in the oven.