A supposedly "good grammar school" for only girls
Parents pay thousands on tuition fees for the 11+ and pray day and night that they'll get in, only for their daughters to become attracted to the disgusting Aston boys (a boys school) and endure the most amount of stress they will ever have in their entire lives. The teachers care more about the way your tag is facing on your lanyard than your actual self and would rather spend money on building a new building than on exercise books, which by the way, the building has literally no space to fit on the school ground. apparently there will be an increase in the amount of peasant year 7s being admitted WHEN THE SCHOOL WAS MADE FOR LESS THAN A 1000 PUPILS.
This is a list for future year 7s with some real advice
-DO NOT BUTTON YOUR BLAZERS. EVER.
-dONT wear your skirt lower than your knees
-Dont have a HUGE BACKPACK
Cons of kevihs:
- You sometimes get weird people walking around the school
- It's in Handsworth (you might get stabbed here)
- The school doesn't have enough money to buy basic supplies even though it is funded a lot. (WHERE DOES THE MONEY GO?)
- Going on the green bus (a dedicated school bus) with the clapped Aston boys
- Aston Boys
- Bitchy snakey girls (there's a lot of them)
Pros of Kevihs
- Your parents can boast about it in front of your relatives
- You probably will end up with majority 7, 8 and 9s on your GCSEs and A levels
- Teachers sometimes actually care
Parents pay thousands on tuition fees for the 11+ and pray day and night that they'll get in, only for their daughters to become attracted to the disgusting Aston boys (a boys school) and endure the most amount of stress they will ever have in their entire lives. The teachers care more about the way your tag is facing on your lanyard than your actual self and would rather spend money on building a new building than on exercise books, which by the way, the building has literally no space to fit on the school ground. apparently there will be an increase in the amount of peasant year 7s being admitted WHEN THE SCHOOL WAS MADE FOR LESS THAN A 1000 PUPILS.
This is a list for future year 7s with some real advice
-DO NOT BUTTON YOUR BLAZERS. EVER.
-dONT wear your skirt lower than your knees
-Dont have a HUGE BACKPACK
Cons of kevihs:
- You sometimes get weird people walking around the school
- It's in Handsworth (you might get stabbed here)
- The school doesn't have enough money to buy basic supplies even though it is funded a lot. (WHERE DOES THE MONEY GO?)
- Going on the green bus (a dedicated school bus) with the clapped Aston boys
- Aston Boys
- Bitchy snakey girls (there's a lot of them)
Pros of Kevihs
- Your parents can boast about it in front of your relatives
- You probably will end up with majority 7, 8 and 9s on your GCSEs and A levels
- Teachers sometimes actually care
"You go to Kevihs?"
"Yaah"
"You guys must be so fancy. a gRamaR ScHooL"
"Were in the middle of Handsworth fam"
"Yaah"
"You guys must be so fancy. a gRamaR ScHooL"
"Were in the middle of Handsworth fam"
by Pseudonymous Unsinn January 17, 2020
a shit(ish) crusty school that everyone makes out to be “so good” when it’s really not.
Parents act like heaven has visited you itself when you get in just for you to come out of year 11 with your mental health completely obliterated.
The FEMALE teachers don’t let you go to the bathroom even on your period and the PE teacher doesn’t let anyone even leave the room and makes people participate even if they’re appendix is bursting.
Not to mention the school is literally older than the queen herself (rip lizzie my headmaster sobbed and had a whole impromptu assembly for you) and is literally crumbling as we speak but can’t be fixed bc it’s a “listed building” and the school apparently don’t have that type of money. They act like your lanyard is your heart and throw a tantrum when you don’t have it within a 5 centimetre radius of you. They give you 3 pieces of homework for different subjects every single day without fail all due for 7 exact days afterwards.
Pros of KEVIHS: you get to go home early every other wednesday (thank fuck)
some of the teachers slay
Cons of KEVIHS:
Crusty Aston boys on the green bus (one took his socks off to wiggle his toes in front of a poor year 7)
ugly ass teachers
only 12 subjects on the whole curriculum (or maybe even less)
it’s every woman for herself the minute you get in
moral of the story: it’s shit, don’t go there, stay safe girlypops
Parents act like heaven has visited you itself when you get in just for you to come out of year 11 with your mental health completely obliterated.
The FEMALE teachers don’t let you go to the bathroom even on your period and the PE teacher doesn’t let anyone even leave the room and makes people participate even if they’re appendix is bursting.
Not to mention the school is literally older than the queen herself (rip lizzie my headmaster sobbed and had a whole impromptu assembly for you) and is literally crumbling as we speak but can’t be fixed bc it’s a “listed building” and the school apparently don’t have that type of money. They act like your lanyard is your heart and throw a tantrum when you don’t have it within a 5 centimetre radius of you. They give you 3 pieces of homework for different subjects every single day without fail all due for 7 exact days afterwards.
Pros of KEVIHS: you get to go home early every other wednesday (thank fuck)
some of the teachers slay
Cons of KEVIHS:
Crusty Aston boys on the green bus (one took his socks off to wiggle his toes in front of a poor year 7)
ugly ass teachers
only 12 subjects on the whole curriculum (or maybe even less)
it’s every woman for herself the minute you get in
moral of the story: it’s shit, don’t go there, stay safe girlypops
by islaysohard September 20, 2022