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Jared, 19 

a reference to the vine that goes "waddup im jared im 19 and i never fucking learned how to read" by josh kennedy. if you see this in a comment, basically they are saying they wish they never read whatever was on the post, or that they wish they couldn't read.
it's posts like these that make me wish i was jared, 19
Jared, 19 by hecking September 15, 2018

Jared Baird 

a guy who says 'yeet' too much
go subscribe to Jared Baird's YouTube!
Jared Baird by norah hehe July 30, 2016

Jared Kleinman 

The real star of Dear Evan Hansen. He eats bathbombs (lov the cronch)
"You know that guy in our school, Jared Kleinman?"
"Yea, the insanely cool Jared Kleinman!!"
Jared Kleinman by Non-Billyver July 17, 2018

Jared Kleinman 

The coolest person you will ever meet. He is sarcastic and chill to hide his awkwardness and the fact that he feels as alone as Evan Hansen. Once you get him to open up, however, he is super awesome and hilarious. You’ll always have a great time with Jared Kleinman.
That guy from our school...
Jared Kleinman?
Yes, the insanely cool Jared Kleinman!
-Sincerely Me Reprise

Jared Kleinman 

a character from the musical Dear Evan Hansen who is a literal meme in glasses
How was your math test?
It was rough!
Ooh, kinky!
Oh my god, you are such a Jared Kleinman.

Jared Fogle 

A formerly obese man who lost weight via a combination of walking, Subway sandwiches, and vigorous use of child pornography. He used to choose between 6 inch or foot long sub sandwiches; now he is getting 6 inches to foot longs of another kind.
Man, the air conditioner was broken at work today and I was hotter than Jared Fogle buying Girl Scout cookies.
Jared Fogle by anotherDUDE October 1, 2015
More from Urban Dictionary

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
Literally "dirty" pronounced with a West Indian accent. Can also have a positive connotation, for example Sean Paul's album title "Dutty Rock".
"The girl is pretty but she corrupt and dutty!"

or, in a positive usage:

"Booya! That freestyle was dutty!"
Dutty by J Hall April 3, 2003
Word of the Day on October 1, 2026
korean word for madam, older woman
Ajumma wait a moment
Ajumma by aintnotinbutnice July 5, 2009
Word of the Day on September 30, 2026
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