jesus boner

noun: when a person gets really excited about jesus, the teachings/words of jesus, or anything relating to jesus. the reultant is a massive jesus boner.

While I was in church, I had the eerie feling that I was surrounded by about 150 jesus boners.

The pope has the worlds largest jesus boner. what a stud.

jesus boner by the storm drains May 7, 2008

Jesus Boner

When you're absolutely wasted and can't get your dick up, but you need to fuck a chick. You pray to Jesus for a solid erection and he comes through like a bro.

Q: Hey, what are you doing in church?
A: I was smashed the other night but needed to fuck this chick, so I prayed and God tossed me the greatest Jesus Boner I've ever had. Now I feel obligated to go to church.

Jesus Boner by Thefuckersattheendofthetable November 15, 2016

Jesus Boner

When your mans boner is so long that it is considered holy.

Lemme see your sweet Jesus Boner

Jesus Boner by Cuntmuffin995 September 5, 2019

Jesus Boner

Literally jesus’s holy erected dick

“Damn, he has a jesus boner there.”

Jesus Boner by DickSucka69 March 5, 2018

Jesus Boner

A boner so holy that divine light is shed upon it and a choir of alter boys sing in the background. Morning wood becomes morning good.

That hoe got the Jesus Boner, nah mean?
(The choir passes in a catholic bus)

Jesus Boner by Narcoleptic Cactus June 17, 2018

Jesus Boner

When you are flaccid, but you really need to get up in there...You pray to Jesus and he delivers a massive boner.

"Please give me this Jesus boner, Christ. To fuck this chick/dude!"

Jesus Boner by TheBonePolice January 9, 2019

Jesus Boner

A holy boner

Holy sh*t you have a jesus boner

Jesus Boner by trooperclonerex September 12, 2018