noun: when a person gets really excited about jesus, the teachings/words of jesus, or anything relating to jesus. the reultant is a massive jesus boner.
While I was in church, I had the eerie feling that I was surrounded by about 150 jesus boners.
The pope has the worlds largest jesus boner. what a stud.
The pope has the worlds largest jesus boner. what a stud.
by the storm drains May 07, 2008

When you're absolutely wasted and can't get your dick up, but you need to fuck a chick. You pray to Jesus for a solid erection and he comes through like a bro.
Q: Hey, what are you doing in church?
A: I was smashed the other night but needed to fuck this chick, so I prayed and God tossed me the greatest Jesus Boner I've ever had. Now I feel obligated to go to church.
A: I was smashed the other night but needed to fuck this chick, so I prayed and God tossed me the greatest Jesus Boner I've ever had. Now I feel obligated to go to church.
by Thefuckersattheendofthetable November 15, 2016

by Cuntmuffin995 September 05, 2019

When you are flaccid, but you really need to get up in there...You pray to Jesus and he delivers a massive boner.
by TheBonePolice January 09, 2019

by DickSucka69 March 05, 2018

A boner so holy that divine light is shed upon it and a choir of alter boys sing in the background. Morning wood becomes morning good.
by Narcoleptic Cactus June 17, 2018

When you want to get up in there...but you are too wasted. You pray to Jesus to give you a massive boner.
by TheBonePolice January 09, 2019
