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noun: when a person gets really excited about jesus, the teachings/words of jesus, or anything relating to jesus. the reultant is a massive jesus boner.
While I was in church, I had the eerie feling that I was surrounded by about 150 jesus boners.

The pope has the worlds largest jesus boner. what a stud.
by the storm drains May 07, 2008
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When you're absolutely wasted and can't get your dick up, but you need to fuck a chick. You pray to Jesus for a solid erection and he comes through like a bro.
Q: Hey, what are you doing in church?
A: I was smashed the other night but needed to fuck this chick, so I prayed and God tossed me the greatest Jesus Boner I've ever had. Now I feel obligated to go to church.
by Thefuckersattheendofthetable November 15, 2016
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When you are flaccid, but you really need to get up in there...You pray to Jesus and he delivers a massive boner.
"Please give me this Jesus boner, Christ. To fuck this chick/dude!"
via giphy
by TheBonePolice January 09, 2019
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A boner so holy that divine light is shed upon it and a choir of alter boys sing in the background. Morning wood becomes morning good.
That hoe got the Jesus Boner, nah mean?
(The choir passes in a catholic bus)
by Narcoleptic Cactus June 17, 2018
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