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Jackin' Off 

The act of consuming, the always delicious, apple jacks cereal.
Matty G: "Yo dude, watcha doin"?

Joe: "You know, just jackin' off or whatever".
Jackin' Off by Pirate Suite April 25, 2007

Jackin off = NO GAINS 

Everytime you jack off I want you to remember that you will never be a gym rat. It is common knowledge that semen is the mans most natural pre workout, protien, and suppliment all rolled into one. Let me paint you a little word picture... you're in your room. It's about 10 p.m, your widnow is open letting in the sweet air of mother nature. Autumn leaves blanket the ground as you're thinking about her lips and how they tasted as sweet as sugar. Her eyes that twinkle when you say her same. Are you willing to risk it all for that sweet release? Aroused from a deathlike slumber the temptation grows. You wont be able to last a second longer... so you give in. But at a price that can never be payed. You've just lost all the gains from that afternoon pump. You scrawny little bastard.
Toby: Dude the balls are practically blue at this point.

Lob: Dude don't risk it. Semen runs through your vains making you stronger everyday. Why get rid of it? Jackin off = NO GAINS!!

SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi 

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

jacking off

When Spider-Man rubs his wrist using his hand until a white sticky substance is released, often called, "His Webbing". Spidey often uses this "Webbing" as a form of transportation among other things in order to save the day. This is why when Spider-Man isn't horny, the day does not get saved.
Person - "Help, I'm being robbed!"

Spider-Man - "*Frantically rubs his wrist and moans* Come on you son of a bitch!"

Person - "Is he jacking off?"

Jacking Off

In Yu-Gi-Oh, when you use 2 Tuners and 1 non-Tuner to summon a Synchro Monster as opposed to the 1 Tuner and 1 non-Tuner
I can't believe he's jacking off into Red Nova Dragon.

jacking off

rubbing your boner for insane sexual pleasure
masturbation
I'm jacking off as I type this sentence.
jacking off by lolwhatisthis March 30, 2009
More from Urban Dictionary

kinktober 

An excuse for people to write porn with different types of kinks throughout the month of October.

Smut Fanfiction
That chick doesn't write often but when she does, its for Kinktober.
kinktober by Kinkiest July 12, 2018
Word of the Day on October 30, 2026

proper lad 

a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad
person1:did you see bob
person2: ya he was a proper lad
Word of the Day on October 29, 2026
The number of years you are still sexually active
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022
Word of the Day on October 28, 2026
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
womp by 175623226 November 3, 2011
Word of the Day on October 27, 2026
When your wife’s boyfriend let you sleep past 8pm 😎😎
Wife’s boyfriend: You have 5 more minutes
Me: Poggers!
Poggers by Just_Charles April 14, 2020
Word of the Day on October 26, 2026

Oblication 

A vacation, feeling more like an obligation, that involves visiting or staying with family.
So Joe where are you taking the kids for spring break vacation? We are going on an oblication to Boca to visit my mother-in-law.
Oblication by kimmerr May 5, 2011
Word of the Day on October 25, 2026
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