Dyslexic Illiterate sack of sadness 

A person who can’t speak and read who commonly replies with “WHAT?” who you personally despise with a burning passion who has commonly said “I’m so depressed!” And they are extremely sad because they have no friends (although they may think your their friend) they have not been diagnosed with depression but constantly say this on group chats that you are stuck in with them.You most likely don’t have their number but they do. You constantly what to kick them in the Shins and permanently disable them.

A rare Insult that hurts like REALLY hurts.

“You are a fucking Dyslexic Illiterate sack of sadness” screamed 69420

Dyslexic Illiterate sack of sadness by 69420ha get it? January 24, 2020

Grocery store illiterate 

When someone is told to get a specific item at the store and they come back with something totally wrong/different/random.

Or, when one cannot find a very simple and/or easily displayed item at the grocery store.

I asked Brian to get green chiles for my taco salad and the fool came back with hormel chili in a can, he is so grocery store illiterate.

"Excuse me, where are the candy bars?" -brian

"In the checkout line, where they always are. Are you grocery store illiterate or something?" -store employee

Grocery store illiterate by Caityj August 27, 2013

Selfie-illiterate 

The inability to take a proper, flattering, selfie.

I am completely selfie-illiterate! -April

Selfie-illiterate by MATMD555 May 27, 2018

Street illiterate

Someone who is intelligent in school but has zero life or interpersonal skills.

"You're book smart and street illiterate."

Street illiterate by lexiconartist0 February 25, 2025

Spatially Illiterate 

someone who physically can not read the room even if a gun were pointed to their head

"dude my grandma just died"
"lol guys look at this tiktok i found"
"holy shit is it humanly possible for you be any more spatially illiterate what the actual fuck is wrong with you"

Spatially Illiterate by Colombian Coal Mine July 20, 2025

Socio-culturally illiterate

People who are so phone dependent that they have almost lost the ability to read.

I'm not a machine-dependent brat. Neither am I Socio-culturally illiterate; I can read a book by Sarah Knight.

Socio-culturally illiterate by Uncle Dimma March 13, 2026

Selective Illiteracy Syndrome 

Selective Illiteracy Syndrome is a serious mental/moral impairment which afflicts individuals who disagree with something but do not examine the presented evidence in support of what they differ with -not because they can’t read- they habitually choose to NOT honestly read out of an irrational paralysing fear that those they disagree with just might be right!

Usually employed by contrarians, internet atheists, trolls and the lazy.

C: You said you wanted proof for my position. Here is all the verifiable evidence that I could find.

A: You're still wrong!

C: How exactly?

A: ....um, reasons.

C: You never read it did you? And I suppose you never intend to either, simply because you don't WANT it to be true!. So...How long have you been suffering from Selective Illiteracy Syndrome?

Selective Illiteracy Syndrome by WHY?Outreach December 10, 2019