housetrade

In-house servant. Slave Someone who waits on you hand and foot for an unspecified amount of time, unless otherwise agreed upon during initial arrangements.
Must not be very verbal for their opinion is not valued, and will cause them to be ejected and replaced with the next housetrade in rotation. Housetrade can be punished for defiance, theivery, fraternizing with other housetrade, and slacking.
Someone who offers a life of servitude, including and not limited to sexual favors for yourself, and anyone else you request, washing, cooking, cleaning, babysitting, etc., in exchange for you gracing them with your mere presence.

I may keep the new housetrade in rotation longer than the last one. He eats a mean cootie, keeps my floors clean enough to eat off of,always has a blurnt rolled, gets my coffee just right in the morning, walks the dog, doesn't shrink my clothes in the laundry, and he licks toes. Damn shame I don't know his name. Oh well. Housetrade! Come make me a sandwich.

by Crashington Coutois September 3, 2009

housetard

1. A person who is mentally disabled (a retard) that cannot leave the house.
2. Any person who fails to interact with the outside world in a meaningful way and who, therefore, should not be allowed to leave his/her house.

Jessica Simpson: Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna. But it says chicken. By the sea.

Who let out the housetard?

by t-norm November 8, 2005

Housetard

A house, a.k.a. home, that makes people sick.

Oh my god, I went to this housetard, and I threw up!! It was disgusting

by marylovesmusic21 December 4, 2006