hanlon 

hairy backed angry scotsman with a huge ass

Dude i got hammered drunk last night and slept with a hanlon!

hanlon by thom tom May 18, 2008

Hanlon's Razor 

Hanlon's Razor is a saying commonly summarized as "Never assume malice when stupidity will suffice". Named for "Robert Hanlon"--probably a corruption of the author Robert Heinlein. There are many variations, but the general idea is that same. Also known in British English as the "Cock-Up Theory".

Person 1: Dude, my stimulus check was $600 less than it should be. The government is trying to screw me!
Person 2: Hanlon's Razor, man. They probably had faulty information for you.

Hanlon's Razor by YoungLibertarian October 3, 2008

Hanlon Street Hustler 

Word used primarily to describe young men who enjoy sex with old women, usually involving walking sticks, prune juice and lots of lube.

Retired Granny 1: Hey doris did you see that strapping young lad in ward 2.
Retired Granny 2: I sure did. He's such a hanlon street hustler.
Retired Granny 1: Hed be worth staying awake past 5pm for.
Retired Granny 2: OOHH edna you saucy minx!

Hanlon Street Hustler by LOZZDOGGY October 16, 2008

Hanlon's Razor 

Logical fallacy around the mantra “Never assume malice when stupidity will suffice”.
In reality, acting like “Whoops, sorry! Stoopid me!”, so the victim is willing to forgive you for longer, is the oldest trick in the book of evil.
Mostly used by anxious sheltered people when overwhelmed by reality .
Not necessarily wrong. But not necessarily right *either*. There simply is no rational basis for it. It is useless. Its false sense of security can itself be harmful again. Purely exists as a coping fantasy. Same thing as conspiracy theorists (−1) , but with an opposite polarity (+1).
Risen in popularity in late 2010s, due to an anxiety epidemic in young people caused by over-sheltering parents, for-profit fear media, over-prescription abuse, and several bad events (pandemic, wars, …).

The real way to tell evil from stupid is:
*Evil has a goal*. Its actions *converge* towards that.
Stupid is incompetent. Its actions *diverge* (into chaos).
Catch 1: Stupid people can *still* be useful pawns for evil people, and follow them. (See example.)
Catch 2: There doesn’t *have* to be an evil person. It may be emergent behavior in a group. (Proof: Your body’s cells aren’t smart. Yet together they can act smart.)
Usually it’s more complex, but that’s the gist.

In the end, stupid is already harmful. It wastes resources and slows advancement down. That is evil.
While evil is already stupid. As teamwork (being nice) is clearly an evolutionary advantage.

Leader figure A: Evil (scapegoat group B) are invading our (group A), destroying our (values) and taking our (valuables)! = Evil. Goal: Power
Group B, Pawn 2: Durk urr durr! Kill all (group B)! =Stupid. Goal: Whatever dear leader A says.
Group A, Anxious traumatized person 3: OMG, (group B) is destroying our (group A)! They are evil! Hyper-focused on anything remotely similar to the previous trauma: “It *must* be real!” Goal: Safety through avoidance.
Group A, Anxious *black-eyed* person 4: Calm down, it’s just Hanlon's Razor! Everything is fine. Nothing to see here, move on. Hyper-focused on anything remotely similar to the previous *safe space*: “It CAN’T be real!” Goal: Safety through ignorance.

(As you can see, everyone in this example is wrong, and merely driven by their anxiety, clinging to what they grew up with that seemingly lets them handle reality.)

Hanlon's Razor by Evi1M4chine April 3, 2023

Hanlon's Paradox 

When someone is both stupid and malicious and you can't tell which is the dominant factor driving a behavior.

The boss just assigned Dickhead McGee to my team and I can't decide if he did it because he doesn't know that it's a terrible idea, or he just hates me and wants to see me suffer. It's a real Hanlon's Paradox.

Hanlon's Paradox by roadkill6 May 28, 2024

Mike hanlon 

Mike is a caring character who wants the best for everyone and is super sweet, he is apart of the losers club and is homeschooled on a farm, he cares about others before himself and is a overall amazing character that deserved the world

Person 1: I love mike hanlon

Person 2: who doesn’t

Mike hanlon by 🤠🤚 March 29, 2020

O'Hanlon Distance 

The O'Hanlon Distance is the distance measured between the midpoint of both mouth and genitila for the purposes of calculating optimal groupings for 69 and other geometric based sex positions.

Nose to nuggets and lips to lips.

The O'Hanlon distance between the basketball player and the midget was sub optimal.

O'Hanlon Distance by 3rdfloor January 30, 2014