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hand ban 

A ban issued following irresponsible use of one's hands, often involving tickling.

Requires the culprit to keep their hands to themselves for the duration of the ban.
"arrrrrrrgggggghhhh stop tickling meeeeeee, that's it you've got yourself a hand ban"

"watch yourself girl, that's a formal warning. next time you'll find yourself with a hand ban"
hand ban by karefour January 6, 2010
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hand banana 

A character from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
A banana shaped dog, seemingly friendly however Hand Banana is a manipulative anal rapist.
Hand Banana: 'All i like is ball... and good... and rape'

Hand Banana: 'Tonight...You'

Hand Banana: 'Looks like your basting that turkey over there. Mind if i slip in and take the temperature?'
hand banana by DocFlox April 1, 2009

Hand Banana 

A character in the show Aqua Teen Hunger force that only appeared in the episode "Hand Banana". He would usually rape Carl on a regular basis throughout the episode.

Episode Plot: Frylock genetically engineers a dog for Meatwad using the "Make Your Own Dog 1.0" software, Carl's pool, and Master Shake's hand DNA. Meatwad names the dog "Hand Banana". The dog seems to be most interested in raping Carl. Hand Banana can speak so that his words are heard only by Carl, who is immediately unnerved by Hand Banana's clearly-menacing but initially-mysterious threat, "Tonight. You." Since Hand Banana's speech cannot be heard by Frylock, Master Shake, or Meatwad -- to them, Hand Banana plays the guileless, capering pup -- Carl appears either hallucinatory or simply deranged for the majority of the episode.

Carl creates his own genetically engineered dog. He names it "The Enforcer", though it prefers the name "Spaghetti". He orders Spaghetti to rape Hand Banana, but Spaghetti refuses, and instead rapes Carl along with Hand Banana. It turns out later in the episode that the software "Make Your own Dog 1.0" is illegal in most nations and has adverse side-effects, such as the dog forming a mental link with members of the owner's family (in this case, Hand Banana bakes goods in a successful attempt to butter up to Master Shake).
Some Hand Banana quotes:

"Tonight, YOU."

"Yeah, I'm just a dog."

"All I know is Ball, and Good...and RAPE"
Hand Banana by stevekilledu August 22, 2009
the world-renown band that plays when one has no other means of satisfying himself.

See also: Masturbation, whacking off, choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, beating off
man, tell that bitch to suck it easy. There's always the hand band.
hand band by bringinbacksuckit December 1, 2011

Hand Bang 

A sexual process of giving your partner a hand job but before they ejactulate you punch then in the genitals

Give them a H.J. but before they E.J. you punch them in the B.
I was having an excellent time until I was given a really rough Hand Bang.
Hand Bang by Frogers October 17, 2004

hand banana 

Basil Bergblatstein is a notorious Hand Banana.
hand banana by EsotericSwiss April 20, 2018

backwards hand bandit

an incredibly rare type of woman, who is able to give a man a handjob with her hands behind her back.

she steals your orgasm with her hands behind her back.
Jill & I took a bath together & she ended up giving me a handjob with her hands behind her back. I had NO idea she was a backwards hand bandit. SWEET.
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I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
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Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
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