**WARNINGS**
-ASS WILL BE SLAPPED, GRABBED, OR OTHERWISE GROPED
-7TH GRADE MATH TEACHERS WILL LOOK DOWN YOUR SHIRT
-YOU WILL GET HIGH OFF THE MENTHOL COUGH DROPS...if u try hard enough...
-stay clear of staircases... 10 foot high linoleum splat death... tie shoes
*reminder: you CAN walk over the people on the ground mid-fight...probably got one swing and pussied out anyway..*
welcome to the home of the patriots!
derived from a name that refers those in the 17th century who rejected loyalist agenda and rebelled against British control, there is no fucking way you would've learned and retained that information with Great Valley's curriculum.. you'll learn more meeting GOD off of the drugs provided in any big stall constructed for the sole purpose of passing penjamins and trapping elf bars. but before you're corrupted by hand-me-down fentanyl laced adderall, you move up the ranks of GV, where each year your innocence is slowly stolen and your intelligence is blatantly exploited by administrative trash... if you think that's harsh just wait til you hear about the way the people up top handle things.. little issues, you know, like racism or assault... you'd think a blue ribbon school, voted one of the top 5 in chester county, would take those matters more seriously...but.. BLUE WHITE AND PRIVILEGE THESE COLORS DON'T RUN BABYYY. AND "my kid is an honor student at great valley high school" has such a nice ring to it.
-ASS WILL BE SLAPPED, GRABBED, OR OTHERWISE GROPED
-7TH GRADE MATH TEACHERS WILL LOOK DOWN YOUR SHIRT
-YOU WILL GET HIGH OFF THE MENTHOL COUGH DROPS...if u try hard enough...
-stay clear of staircases... 10 foot high linoleum splat death... tie shoes
*reminder: you CAN walk over the people on the ground mid-fight...probably got one swing and pussied out anyway..*
welcome to the home of the patriots!
derived from a name that refers those in the 17th century who rejected loyalist agenda and rebelled against British control, there is no fucking way you would've learned and retained that information with Great Valley's curriculum.. you'll learn more meeting GOD off of the drugs provided in any big stall constructed for the sole purpose of passing penjamins and trapping elf bars. but before you're corrupted by hand-me-down fentanyl laced adderall, you move up the ranks of GV, where each year your innocence is slowly stolen and your intelligence is blatantly exploited by administrative trash... if you think that's harsh just wait til you hear about the way the people up top handle things.. little issues, you know, like racism or assault... you'd think a blue ribbon school, voted one of the top 5 in chester county, would take those matters more seriously...but.. BLUE WHITE AND PRIVILEGE THESE COLORS DON'T RUN BABYYY. AND "my kid is an honor student at great valley high school" has such a nice ring to it.
"i was apart of Great Valley School District and now I'm a teenage mother with aspirations of being the Top Female Trap Queen on the Main Line"
"Great Valley School District robbed me of my childhood and literally lit my house on fire..?!"
"i loved being apart of Great Valley School District! (**i peaked in high-school**)."
"i was apart of Great Valley School District for only 3 years and all i have to show for it is chlamydia and this dumb t-shirt."
"Great Valley School District robbed me of my childhood and literally lit my house on fire..?!"
"i loved being apart of Great Valley School District! (**i peaked in high-school**)."
"i was apart of Great Valley School District for only 3 years and all i have to show for it is chlamydia and this dumb t-shirt."
by boombastia September 7, 2023
in your high school years of this esteemed organization, funded by PTO freaks and lowkey wino soccer moms, you'll embark on a wonderful journey of hallway hookups, big stall seshes, the crushing reality of your personal mortality, and self discovery. widely known as "THE PHARMACY", someone you know will OD within the first week of school and post about it afterward with the jarring caption of "just another silly day"... you'll likely develop an eating disorder as if you weren't already barely choking down your shitty cafeteria lunch after looking at that hollow red arrow next to your crush's name after he begged you to "make his night ;)". you'll be balls deep in assignments WHILE being reminded to "get outside and enjoy that weather!".. they're so sweet to think of you <3 now the genre of teachers that inhabit this prison range from 'Super Sick Nasty Chill Dad/Mom Would Name Ur Kid After' to 'WILL Rip Up, Eat, and Shit Out Your Dumb Fragile Teenage Emotions"... there is no in between... tread lightly. **WARNING** the current principle of this school has the eyes of a cold dead fish and will 100% stop u in the middle of a busy hallway to make u cover ur shoulders.** it'll be a dream!...as long as you disassociate the entire time :)
anyway don't go here... stay safe... homeschool or go off the grid instead <3
anyway don't go here... stay safe... homeschool or go off the grid instead <3
"great valley school district (3) is the root of irreversible trauma...but that one social studies teacher was so fine." (@ great valley middle school <3)
by boombastia September 7, 2023
elementary school years: hotdogs blue and bouncy... do with that what u will.
4 elementary schools and 3 years of fresh middle school hell all preparing you for the 2 years of high school you're gonna complete before almost surely dropping out.. killing yourself... or getting pregnant during. but before an inevitable alcoholic era caused by the crushing weight of junior year, teachers gaslighting you into believing you didn't turn in that essay you pulled all nighters for, and upper class-men manipulating you into hitting a mango juul sums up your middle school experience... not to mention rumors of teacher affairs amongst other scandals... you'll be bullied, exhausted, and pressured into changing ever single thing about yourself...you'll make and lose more friends than you'll have in your entire life and join clubs and extra curriculars in hopes of social interaction, only to be met with social anxiety and an energy that reeksss of axe body spray, B.O, and desperation... the crushes you have on your 40 year old male teachers will stick with you forever... you'll never be able to get that image of yourself accidentally flashing the gymnasium out of your mind... your first kiss will be fucking atrocious...and you WILL want to die... but if i had to do it, you fucking do too.
4 elementary schools and 3 years of fresh middle school hell all preparing you for the 2 years of high school you're gonna complete before almost surely dropping out.. killing yourself... or getting pregnant during. but before an inevitable alcoholic era caused by the crushing weight of junior year, teachers gaslighting you into believing you didn't turn in that essay you pulled all nighters for, and upper class-men manipulating you into hitting a mango juul sums up your middle school experience... not to mention rumors of teacher affairs amongst other scandals... you'll be bullied, exhausted, and pressured into changing ever single thing about yourself...you'll make and lose more friends than you'll have in your entire life and join clubs and extra curriculars in hopes of social interaction, only to be met with social anxiety and an energy that reeksss of axe body spray, B.O, and desperation... the crushes you have on your 40 year old male teachers will stick with you forever... you'll never be able to get that image of yourself accidentally flashing the gymnasium out of your mind... your first kiss will be fucking atrocious...and you WILL want to die... but if i had to do it, you fucking do too.
"i went to great valley school district (2) and had to sell my entire large intestine to the mafia after i graduated.a'
by boombastia September 7, 2023