Welcome to Buckingham Palace, the biggest playground existing, where even Queen Elizabeth and
Tony Blair come to play! Here, your kids and grandparents can enjoy a dive in the bath where the
balls connect and the world famous enormous pole of exitement(one of Tony's favourites)! Let's have a quick tour, shall we?
Parking lot
Our parking lot is THE place if you like waiting! We have one-hundred lazy guards who are willing to tell you bad directions! Our guards also provide badly drawn maps, keys that don't fit and dirtroad detours!
The entrance
When you finally reach the entrance, the fun begins! You can look at two Buckingham Guards... TOTALLY STANDING STILL! Isn't that amazing, kids!? You can
kick them and THEY
WILL REMAIN STILL! You can test your new collection of BeyBlades and they
will STILL STAND STILL! You can even shoot them in the crotch with a 9mm gun, and surprisingly enough THEY
WILL REMAIN STILL!!! AMAZING!
The staircases
Now here comes a fun part. When you'
re inside, there are loads of stairs, covered in red carpet! You can run up them, run down, you can CLIMB then, you can jump off them or
break your ankle on them! Once you're finished, you can go to the...
First aid room
The first aid room is only 5 miles away from the Parking lot, so you can take your
time and let that ankle heal there!
Tony Blair will look after you! Be sure to have your buttplug with you, as Tony knows a few tricks!
The
Queen's room
Legends and myths are told that there's a secret room inside the castle where Queen Elizabeth used to do her dirty laundry. Try to find it, lead us to it and get a FREE* icecream cone!
(*)Only available when you have collected all of our tax money for us. It's a hard job, you know...
History Lessons!
In here, you can play several games, like "Kampf" or "Gulf
War"! Most of them can be unlocked by succesfully surviving the other games without scratches and maimed body parts! Some of the
history teachers include Adolf Hitler, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush (Only for the war in Iraq. He lacks knowledge of all other subject, although we doubt he knows anything about Iraq, too...)
