Fuck Jesus 

An exclamation indicating displeasure or surprise. See also God Damn it, God Damn Motherfucking Shitty Fucking Shit Fuckers, Jesus Tapdancing Christ, Fucking A, Holy Jesus on a Stick, etc.

Fuck Jesus, she's got a fat ass!

Fuck Jesus by Tom December 16, 2004

Fuck Jesus 

What you say when you fuck Jesus

"YO, I JUST FUCKED A JESUs!"

Fuck Jesus by Chaplin Sinatra Fonzarelli March 23, 2005

fuck jesus in the face 

Expression of extreme exasperation.

Fuck Jesus in the face! If Bruce cock blocks me one more time, I'm going to punch him out

fuck jesus in the face by Merkin March 24, 2005

go fuck jesus 

something you say to smebody when they are complaining about you "not following rules" or "being rude" or if they are just being an annoying goody goody asshole. Can also be used on Jesus Freaks.

Person #1- Hey! you shouldn't do that!

Person #2- Go fuck jesus.

go fuck jesus by LolointheSkywithDiamonds August 24, 2008

Jesus fuck 

When something scares you so bad you can’t just say fuck

*jon jumps out from behind a car*

Lizzie:Jesus fuck!

Jesus fuck by Destiny🥵 February 21, 2020

jesus fuck 

A combination of two of the most offensive swear words of our day, "Jesus fuck" is unique in its ability to offend damn near anyone.

Notable for its use in the beginning of the Leftover Crack/Citizen Fish split CD Deadline.

STZA: Well Dave, according to my most recent calculations
and factoring in all the ignorant sycophant cop-callers,
there are in excess of a billion police in this world.

DICTOR: Jesus fuck! That's a lot of pigs.

jesus fuck by Fatlard Lars January 6, 2008

Fuck me Jesus 

(1) A really bad turn of events. In addition to the established 'Fuck me' which denotes a bad turn of events, 'Fuck me Jesus' emphasizes a greater deal of anguish and bad luck, some would say on a biblical level. The beginnings of a holy shitfest.

(2) A girl making love to someone named Jesús (Spanish) and can't get over the fact that his name in English is Jesus.

Dude 1: "Hey, are we OK with the math exam? Does someone know we had a copy beforehand?"

Dude 2: "You are fucking kidding me, right?! Didn't you hear they caught us on the security cameras sneaking into the teacher's room."

Dude 1: "Oh! Damn! Fuck me Jesus!"

Fuck me Jesus by maxi215 September 7, 2012