The act of playing the guitar in a way that is gratuitously self-indulgent, yet enjoyable and compelling to watch. Often includes facial movements to indicate the difficulty or sexuality of a solo.
Jeepers, have you seen Steve Vai's "TenderSurrender" video? It's practically spadgetastic!
Seonaidh's flatmate stopped paying rent and bills, and left him to deal with it. Now he lives in London and spends his vast new salary on class A drugs. He now feels completely flatwankered.
Despite its silly name, a frostwanker is actually a crafty scholar of humanity. A frostwanker makes cunning use of humor, insult, and self-deflection to expose your Truth.
That frostwanker just made me laugh so hard I cried and called my mother to beg her forgiveness.
(Taken from the movement of the left hand up and down the imaginary frets of a non-existent electric guitar)
"You can always recognize the spotty teenage Status Quo herberts, by their inability to refrain from 'fretwanking' the second "Caroline" is played on the juke-box."
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.