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ferret fiddling

A practice employed by British South Eastern Farmers for several centuries. The act itself involves stimulating the nether regions of a ferret, so that said ferret can de-stress and continue to ward off evil spirits. Obviously it goes without saying that the farmers didn't mind either.
Daves wife could tell from the wet patch on his lap that he'd been vigourously ferret fiddling, cripes!
by egnaro May 17, 2005
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fiddling the ferret

To masturbate. To stroke one's own penis. To jerk off.
After Sara turned out to be a bitch and he realized Heather was a gold-digging whore, Al stayed home, glumly fiddling the ferret to porn he found on imagefap.
by Blenderhead91 September 7, 2010
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