Blenderhead91's definitions

As fresh as a stroll on the beach

A phrase used to describe the odor produced by a woman's vagina. This is a polite way of saying that her vulva smells like dead sea creatures.

Doug: I remember the first time I got into Nicole's panties.

Phil: Oh yeah? What was it like?

Doug: As fresh as a stroll on the beach, man.

Phil: That seems to be everybody's opinion of what her crotch smells like. Rotting salmon, decomposing shrimp, with a hint of dead walrus.

by blenderhead91 April 25, 2010

Romancing the Stone

Having sex (regular or receiving oral) while passing a kidney stone in hopes that it will pass when you ejaculate.

Phil: How goes the renal calculi this morning, bro?

Doug: I may have passed that fucker. I was romancing the stone last night with that whore Nicole, and when I busted a nut, it was all bloody and gooey. Probably lodged like a stalagtite up there against her uterus.

Phil: I found my car keys up there once....

by blenderhead91 April 25, 2010

taintular cystosis

(n.) a condition in which one has developed a cyst on one's taint. Eventually, it will surface and drain, usually oozing copious quantities of thick pus. Trust me, this hurts.

Phil: How's the taintular cystosis treating you, Bob?

Bob: I got that fucker drained, dude. The relief...it was better than sex! And what came out of it...looked like a half cup of mashed potatos!

Phil: Dude....gross.

by blenderhead91 April 25, 2010

delayed foreskin separation anxiety disorder

The realization that usually occurs around thirty-five, and most typically in men who have been circumsized (it's generally unheard of in women), that your foreskin is gone, it isn't coming back, and that you miss it. Complete mental breakdowns have been attributed to this disorder (which is found in the DSM-IV-R).

Biff: Doctor Rob, what am I gonna do? I miss it so much...It's just too hard to go on without it. Is there any way to help me? Can we maybe find it on the internet?

Doctor Rob: Somehow, Biff, i doubt your foreskin is living a successful and happy life in the suburbs of Cleveland. I'm sure it more likely found its way to the hospital incinerator shortly after you were born. You've got delayed foreskin separation anxiety disorder, and I'm prescribing Paxil and Diazapam. They should help you out.

by Blenderhead91 April 27, 2010

Savage Nation

Is a radio talk-show hosted by uber-fascist Michael Savage. Mr. Savage regularly goes on extended rants, extolling his extremely over-stated impact on American society, blaming a multitude of diseases on illegal immigrants, and charging liberals with the various ills that have befallen the United States. He regularly bad-mouths callers who are incouraged to call in and challenge his self-assumed "genius." Michael Savage claims to be "Right of Rush and to the Left of God." He whined incessantly over the course of several days programming about being banned from the U.K. by British Home Secretary Jacqui Smith, a very astute measure on her part. Unfortunately this means that there is one less place in the world to deport this reprobate to, should the American Government ever develop the sense to do so.

People that listen to Savage Nation and actually buy into it make me embarassed to be an American.

by Blenderhead91 May 15, 2009

Three Tattoo Rule

The scientific rule that states "If a girl has more than three tattoos, she'll probably take it in the ass."

1.) At first, I didn't buy into the Three Tattoo Rule, but eight years later and a few more romantic encounters under my belt, I'd have to say it's true.

2.) Cindy didn't disappoint. She was covered in ink and reaffirmed my belief in the Three Tattoo Rule.

by Blenderhead91 June 7, 2009

GOE

Abbreviation for a Gathering of Eagles, a right-wing extremist group who thinks that sending off US Military personnel to overseas conflicts to be killed wholesale and lugged home in body bags (frequently burned to a crisp or dismembered) or alive but heinously physically disfigured or maimed or even left emotionally paralyzed by Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is the best way to support them. This group regularly engages in counter-protests at pro-peace gatherings. Their tactics involve using intimidation, threats, hate-speech, videotaping members of anti-war organizations, and attempting to instigate a violent response through various means of confrontation. GOE members have gone so far as to physically assault grieving members of service members' families who have spoken out against the various wars that the US Government has gotten the nation into. This reprehensible group is opposed by several noble organizations that include Veterans for Peace and the Winter Soldiers. The GOE frequently suggests as "vast liberal conspiracy" involving the media opposes their efforts and calls anyone who opposes their efforts as "moonbats," whatever that is.

Carolyn Swartout is an infamous member of the despicable and often hateful organization known as a Gathering of Eagles (GOE). She has been witness attempting to provoke a violent response at peaceful anti-war gatherings sometimes by using her minor son to instigate a confrontation. She is a coward.

by Blenderhead91 June 8, 2009