Eric Cartmen is a character in South Park. In most episodes he is the focus of the show. He is extremely negative and destructive in his thoughts and actions. That might have something to do with the fact that his mother is a hermaphrodite town slut and he is big boned(not fat).
1. Eric Cartmen : Now I am done measuring everyone's penis size.
Stan : Dude, your penis size is yet to measured.
Eric : I measured mine this morning. It is 13.7" long.
Stan : Your penis is not 13.7". We'll measure your penis in front of witnesses.
Eric : Now you want to measure guys' penises? What are you, a HOMO?
Stan : You just measured everyone's penis.
Eric : OK FINE.
Stan : (Measures Eric's penis size) It is 1.2".
2.
Eric : Mom! I want iPad2 with 64gb and 3g.
Eric's Mom : Eric, that is too expensive. We can't afford that. Look here, you can get Toshiba's tablet instead. It has all the features of iPad and is much cheaper.
Eric : BUT IT IS NOT IPAD. KYLE HAS AN IPAD.
Eric' Mom : I am not buying that.
Eric : (Turns his back towards his mom, squats and gets down his pant) Mom why don't you take me to the Greasemonkey. I liked to be lubed before I get FUCKED.
Stan : Dude, your penis size is yet to measured.
Eric : I measured mine this morning. It is 13.7" long.
Stan : Your penis is not 13.7". We'll measure your penis in front of witnesses.
Eric : Now you want to measure guys' penises? What are you, a HOMO?
Stan : You just measured everyone's penis.
Eric : OK FINE.
Stan : (Measures Eric's penis size) It is 1.2".
2.
Eric : Mom! I want iPad2 with 64gb and 3g.
Eric's Mom : Eric, that is too expensive. We can't afford that. Look here, you can get Toshiba's tablet instead. It has all the features of iPad and is much cheaper.
Eric : BUT IT IS NOT IPAD. KYLE HAS AN IPAD.
Eric' Mom : I am not buying that.
Eric : (Turns his back towards his mom, squats and gets down his pant) Mom why don't you take me to the Greasemonkey. I liked to be lubed before I get FUCKED.
by sooommmeeoonnneeeee July 10, 2011
Get the eric cartmen mug.1.) Plural of Eric Cartman
by jffsiuo January 29, 2008
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The Fat Ass Of South Park. He is Funny and the best person on the show. Cartmen is extremly offensive to jews and black people. Cartmens Mom is also a hoe.
Kyle: Hey Cartmen Can I Have Some Candy?
Cartmen: Lets See hmm Nope Im Sorry Kyle I don't Have Any Jew Candy
Kyle: Fuck You Fat Ass
Or
Cat: meeeooow
Cartmen: no kitty this is my pot pie
Cat: meooooowww
Cartmen: NO KITTY THIS IS MY POT PIE!!
Cartmen: Mooommm Kitty's bein a dildo.
Cartmen's Mom : well then i know a certain kitty-kitty thats sleeping with mommy tonight.
Cat: Meeooooooow?
Cartmen: Lets See hmm Nope Im Sorry Kyle I don't Have Any Jew Candy
Kyle: Fuck You Fat Ass
Or
Cat: meeeooow
Cartmen: no kitty this is my pot pie
Cat: meooooowww
Cartmen: NO KITTY THIS IS MY POT PIE!!
Cartmen: Mooommm Kitty's bein a dildo.
Cartmen's Mom : well then i know a certain kitty-kitty thats sleeping with mommy tonight.
Cat: Meeooooooow?
by J- Fizzle June 26, 2005
Get the Eric Cartmen mug.Cartman is an elementary school student who lives with his mother in the fictional town of South Park, Colorado, where he routinely has extraordinary experiences atypical of a small town. Cartman has been portrayed as aggressive, prejudiced, arrogant, and narcissistic since his character's inception; Stone and Parker describe the character as "a little Archie Bunker". These traits are significantly augmented in later seasons as his character evolves, and he begins to exhibit extremely psychopathic, sociopathic and manipulative behavior, and also be depicted as highly intelligent, able to execute morally appalling plans and business ideas with success.
Cartman is considered to be the most popular character on South Park.234 Parker and Stone state that he is their favorite character, and the one with whom they most identify. South Park has received both praise and criticism for Cartman's politically incorrect behavior. Prominent publications and television channels have included Cartman on their lists as one of the most iconic television and cartoon characters of all time.
Cartman is considered to be the most popular character on South Park.234 Parker and Stone state that he is their favorite character, and the one with whom they most identify. South Park has received both praise and criticism for Cartman's politically incorrect behavior. Prominent publications and television channels have included Cartman on their lists as one of the most iconic television and cartoon characters of all time.
. “I would never let a woman kick my @ss. If she tried something, I’d be like, HEY! You get your b*tch @ss back in the kitchen and make me some pie!”
2. “Why does this happen every month? It seems like right about the same time every month, Kyle’s mom gets a bug up her @ss about something, and I always end up getting screwed by it.”
3. “Too bad drinking scotch isn’t a paying job or Kenny’s dad would be a millionaire!”
4. “If some sissy chick tried to kick my @ss I would say hey, missy, go knit me a sweater before I slap you in the face!”
5. “Mom — kitty is being a dildo.” — Eric Cartman
“I know a special little kitty that’s sleeping with mommy tonight.” — Cartman’s mom replies
6. “Kenny’s family is so poor that yesterday, they had to put their cardboard box up for a second mortgage.”
7. “Anyway Kenny, Yellow MegaMan is only $8.95, so maybe your mom can put it on layaway and make payments for a year or two.”
8. “Well I looked in my moms closet and saw what I was getting for Christmas, an ultravibe pleasure 2000.”
9. “It’s an Afghanistan goat, so it can’t stay here, or else it’ll choke on the sweet air of freedom.” — Cartman on a goat sent to him and his friends by some kids in Afghanistan.
10. “Dude, dolphins are intelligent and friendly!” — Wendy
“Intelligent and friendly on rye bread, with some mayonaise.” — Cartman
2. “Why does this happen every month? It seems like right about the same time every month, Kyle’s mom gets a bug up her @ss about something, and I always end up getting screwed by it.”
3. “Too bad drinking scotch isn’t a paying job or Kenny’s dad would be a millionaire!”
4. “If some sissy chick tried to kick my @ss I would say hey, missy, go knit me a sweater before I slap you in the face!”
5. “Mom — kitty is being a dildo.” — Eric Cartman
“I know a special little kitty that’s sleeping with mommy tonight.” — Cartman’s mom replies
6. “Kenny’s family is so poor that yesterday, they had to put their cardboard box up for a second mortgage.”
7. “Anyway Kenny, Yellow MegaMan is only $8.95, so maybe your mom can put it on layaway and make payments for a year or two.”
8. “Well I looked in my moms closet and saw what I was getting for Christmas, an ultravibe pleasure 2000.”
9. “It’s an Afghanistan goat, so it can’t stay here, or else it’ll choke on the sweet air of freedom.” — Cartman on a goat sent to him and his friends by some kids in Afghanistan.
10. “Dude, dolphins are intelligent and friendly!” — Wendy
“Intelligent and friendly on rye bread, with some mayonaise.” — Cartman
by LilManJD May 12, 2016
Get the Eric Cartman mug.someone who is NOT fat and indeed is just big boned, and only child, with a mother who spoils him. he's never caught being nice and made his girlfriend fat.. I mean big boned
by ur moms hot October 5, 2019
Get the Eric Cartman mug.by kyem2010 October 19, 2005
Get the Eric Cartman mug.South Park's Eric Cartmen's alter ego. In "Eek, a Penis!" Eric Cartmen tries to become a calculus teacher. To reach inner-city kids, he became a Hispanic teacher named Eric Cartmenez teaching the children how to cheat calculus.
Student 1: "I don't understand how to cheat on my test"
Eric Cartmenez: "How do I reeach those kïds?"
Example 2
Principle: Congratulations Mr. Cartmenez!
Eric Cartmenez: "I reeached those kïds"
Eric Cartmenez: "How do I reeach those kïds?"
Example 2
Principle: Congratulations Mr. Cartmenez!
Eric Cartmenez: "I reeached those kïds"
by mm24ish January 1, 2011
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