Dicktaphone

To put your dick to the telephone speaker when talking to a ladyfriend when she is boring the arse off you about babies or flowers or something else that's all girlyfied.

Dicktaphone is when on the phone to Ann Coulter and she's banging on about politics or crap etc. and you realise you're her husband as your cock falls out of your pants into the reciever.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 12, 2008

dicktaphone

puttin penis on video call

i was having phone sex wi a guy and he pulled a dicktaphone

by anallover56 October 8, 2021

Dictaphone

Idiot who's always on his mobile (cell phone).

A: You'll never guess who was blocking the gangway on the Tube this morning.
B: Who?
A: A Dictaphone.

by JaaagMan November 6, 2012

Dictaphone

Standing in the men's room, using one hand to hold the phone, the other to hold your dick.

Lots of dudes using Dictaphone in there!

by Mavrick1903 October 21, 2016

Dictaphone

Is when you are on the phone with your girlfriend or boyfriend ( If you swing that way ) and you slap your dick on the mouthpiece of your mobile phone. This usually makes a loud thumping sound that the other party hears.

Ashley: What is that thumping sound i hear ?
Tim: That is me giving you a dictaphone !
Ashley: Awwwww, Thanks Baby !! I hope you can give me a dictaphone EVERYDAY !!!

by TattooedTrash March 22, 2009

dickdaphone

The phone you use to call dicks.

``Hey asshole, did you call that schmuck yet? No, I'm waiting for you to get off the dickdaphone.''

by tirtle December 11, 2017