50 definition by Sir Bartholomew McTavish

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What Disney and all other "child" orientated businesses are doing to us at Christmas. Wishing us a 'Merry Fuckmas, you've just paid us £40 for a piece of shit, you stupid fucking moron. You keep this economy going and you buy our crap?'
At Eurodisney
DAD: Go say hi to Mickey son,
SON: Okay Dad. Hiya Mickey, we thought you were great in Steamboat Willy
MICKEY MOUSE COSTUME MAN:Fuck you kid, give me your watch, cash and toys. (punches kid in face and signs Dad's car in own feaces.) Merry Fuckmas assholes.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish December 29, 2008

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facecool is what happens when you try to type out Facebook in a text message with T9 predictive-fucking-text on.
DAVID: Whoah, Rebecca, Victoria's on to us, somebody just text me saying that Victoria's figured out how to use a computer and has just spotted our facecool page.

REBECCA: What the fuck is facecool?

DAVID: I don't know, it's in this text. Can we go to Disney Land Rebecca, you promised.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish January 03, 2009

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Of the portly, well endowed and sometimes aged of the female sex.
When the lady/beast in question wears a bra that is far too small for massive jubblies.
The 'Nork Chop' refers to the skin that overhangs the bra itself.
Sometimes nice (fit babe), othertimes scary (portly woman) and downright wrong but kinda not bad if you don't admit to liking it, with the other. (Old women.)
CLARENCE: Steve,did you see that Lindsay Lohan's 'Nork Chops' in that '9 oclock News' segment? Id tap me sumofthat!
STEVE: I wouldnt say no to her in bed.but she wouldnt say yes.
CLARENCE: That's right. Rich bitches only go for rich guys. Or really ugly lesbians, who coincidentaly, usually own disgusting 'Nork Chops'.
BARRY: Oh my god, that fat bird must have not cooked her 'Nork Chops' properly coz they're making me wanna
vomit just by looking at them.
OLD LADY: Dennis dear, my falsies have fallen down my dirty pillows (Tits). Be a dear and fish them out for me.
DENNIS: I don't think so bitch. I aint going near your manky Nork Chops. You diseased maniac.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish November 14, 2007

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Euphemistic. Same as 'Shake Hands with Tommy Tank' or 'Making Love to Madame Palm and Her Five Lovely Daughters' or even 'I'm Going to do a Barclays'
SON: Don't come in Mum, I'm trying to meet Weird Al Spankovich.

MUM: Are you fucking wanking in that bathroom again?

SON: Maybe. (Ughhhhhgggh.)

MUM: Well hurry the fuck up, I need to shit as well and your Dad's downstairs fucking your sister in the other toilet.

SON: What?

MUM: What?
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish February 17, 2009

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An 'imdbber' is somebody who subscribes to IMDB or is constantly online everynight about 10ish looking up new episodes of Doctor Who, looking for the new Star Trek film's sequel, hurriedly awaiting news on the reboot of Superman or else trying to get any on-the-spot-information about the next Narnia flick. Or else scanning through the fit-one-that-plays-Susan's twitter entries.
Er, me.

Matthew Waterhouse, desperatley waiting for a stalker to find him so he can be Adric again in a hostage situation.

Leonard Nimoy is an imdbber. Online at home about 10ish, looking up to see if anybody in Iceland doisn't know he was Spock. (And no saddos not Kerry Katona Iceland. The place Bjork is from. Gimboids.)
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 07, 2009

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1:) Not just insane but cock-o-nuts insane.

2:) Dick & balls euphemism.

3:) Jim's granny from American Pie 3.
HERMAPHRODITE #1: Dude, why do you have that Sony Playstation 3 up your ass?
DUDE: Because I like it.
HERMAPHRODITE #1:Dude, you're not just insane, you're cockonuts.
DUDE: Thanks.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish February 17, 2009

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crackmail is what it is called when a woman, uses her crack to shut a moaning husband, boyfriend up when he finds out something she didn't want known.
Steve: So, what happened when you confronted your missus about doing that hardcore porno behind your back, when she was supposed to be going to see her ill Mother?
Dave: I got crackmailed by the Bitch.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish September 11, 2008

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