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diddly dick 

Something with absolutely no use or function.

Something that does not work.
These scissors don't do diddly dick!
diddly dick by AVGNfan May 31, 2009

Diddle Dick 

When someone cums after only two strokes.
He has a fucking diddle dick, it's dissapointing as fuck.
Diddle Dick by Wantsomefuck? December 30, 2016