Depatch (Dee-
patch)
A Depatch is an instance in which a company releases a software update for one of their programs which goes awry. Where the normal
patch will update or fix software, the Depatch has the opposite effects and more. A Depatch rips a hole in the digital
universe, maliciously altering software in a negative way. A Depatch violates software uses on a mental, emotional, and psychological level. Reactions are many and varied, ranging from a
stoic patience to uncontrolled weeping and vomiting, or the much more common raging yells and similar temper tantrums. The way in which the company reacts to their own Depatch is also varied. Some will simply admit to the fact that they have brought a travesty upon their users and will immediately
set about fixing the problem. Others will often deny there is any issue at all until their entire program crashes due to an error in the in-
game mail
system. They will then be forced to take the game down for nearly two days in order to fix the issue.
Example 1:
Ben: Hey what do you think of the new patch?
Adam: I
HATE IT! I CAN"T LOG INTO THE
GAME ANYMORE! IT WAS A
FUCKING DEPATCH!(Subsequent rage and cussing)
Example 2:
Adam: Hey what was the name of that Depatch in World of Warcraft? The one where they damaged the game beyond repair?
Ben: Oh, you mean Cataclysm?