Depatch 

Depatch (Dee-patch)

A Depatch is an instance in which a company releases a software update for one of their programs which goes awry. Where the normal patch will update or fix software, the Depatch has the opposite effects and more. A Depatch rips a hole in the digital universe, maliciously altering software in a negative way. A Depatch violates software uses on a mental, emotional, and psychological level. Reactions are many and varied, ranging from a stoic patience to uncontrolled weeping and vomiting, or the much more common raging yells and similar temper tantrums. The way in which the company reacts to their own Depatch is also varied. Some will simply admit to the fact that they have brought a travesty upon their users and will immediately set about fixing the problem. Others will often deny there is any issue at all until their entire program crashes due to an error in the in-game mail system. They will then be forced to take the game down for nearly two days in order to fix the issue.

Example 1:

Ben: Hey what do you think of the new patch?

Adam: I HATE IT! I CAN"T LOG INTO THE GAME ANYMORE! IT WAS A FUCKING DEPATCH!(Subsequent rage and cussing)

Example 2:

Adam: Hey what was the name of that Depatch in World of Warcraft? The one where they damaged the game beyond repair?

Ben: Oh, you mean Cataclysm?

Depatch by Mcshiggle August 14, 2011

Deparchment 

A beverage that quenches the thirst of someone who is parched. Thus relieving their parchment.

Man I'm thirsty, I better get some deparchment.

Deparchment by Djent_2 January 12, 2019

Deparchment 

The paper presented to an individual at graduation when the qualification is revoked.

Mike recieved deparchment at his graduation last week.

Deparchment by auttua July 8, 2011

Rectal Detatchment 

When some poor bastard has been badly constipated for ages and finally manages to go..... The bowel movement that follows is so horrifically brain bursting that it literally feels like the arse is going to detatch itself from the rest of the body...

Can also apply to the result of too much bum love....

*helen goes to the loo, hoping that this time she will be in luck and finally manage to empty her bowels..*

helen: "OHMYGOD!!!! JIM I THINK MY ARSE IS GOING TO FALL OFF!!!!!"

jim: "dont worry, i will look up rectal detatchment online, im sure we can fix it dear"

Rectal Detatchment by little miss offhernut June 16, 2010

hatchet matchet and despatchit 

The effects on said youths after they attempt to slash tyres on sportka, after recieving a visit from these three Millwall fans. These youths are predominantly living in Leicestershire and are unemployed and take pride in bumdarting 24/7 with speciality of feltching their friends.

Refer to the state of the doors of the un-named youth after a visit by Hatchet, Matchet and Despatchet, the three notorious Millwall fans- no one wants to mess with.

hatchet matchet and despatchit by Gareth November 11, 2004

Dephatchulated 

This word is an adjective that can mean anything one wants, but when put in context it sounds very clear

Wow, your looking really dephatchulated tonight.
These HD graphics are dephatchulating.
Hey! Go dephatchulate yourself!
That new haircut of yours is so dephatchulating!
OMG im so dephatchulated !! I cant believe you got an A on that test.

Dephatchulated by Carmello Smatt December 15, 2010

Deratchify 

To make something or someone, including yourself, less ratchet.

Hey, sorry I'll be late to the party! I need at least two hours to deratchify myself before going out.

Deratchify by Big Porkin' August 4, 2020