captain douche

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In a classroom or work setting captain douche would be the most egotistical and outgoing guy. He loudly shares his political opinions, life lessons and sexual exploits. He may be a loner or in a group of other douche friends but he far exceeds them with his obnoxious outgoing nature.

"THERE AREN'T ENOUGH CHICKS IN THIS CLASS!"
"I'M TO THE RIGHT OF LIMBAUGH"
"LIBERALS!? WORK! THAT'S A FIRST."

If you hear these types of phrases on a daily basis from this individual, you are dealing with a captain douche.

captain douche by slugbeast July 22, 2009

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Captain Douche Bag!

He is the founding last super hero of our time! He plays golf with freckled kids! He likes to Break Bread and go Water Fishing! His powers are dance to Techno music with hot chicks! He then Cleans his fridge with Fabric softner and yells at crocidiles because they have too much teeth and never see the dentist!

Little Boy: oh my god some buddy kill me!

Captain Douche Bag: how about no dumass! maybe you should be happy fuck face!

Little Boy: why captain douche bag no one likes me!

Captain Douche Bag: cause your a pussy!

Little Boy: im really sorry sir! i promise to stop wetting the bed!

Captain Douche Bag: good now go protect the planet from Beastiality Porn!!!

THEME SONG!

Captain Douche Bag is a fucking guy with a mask!
He'll eat the rest of the Steak Sauce!
Then he will cry you nothing cause you suck!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!

Captain Douche Bag is a fucking guy with a cape!
He'll do back flips on chicken tenders from Hot'n Now!
Then he will pee on your bed blaming it on you!!!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!

Kids: We love Captain Douche Bag!! YAY!!!!!!

Captain Douche Bag is a fucking hero with Attitude!!!
He'll race you to the Laundry Mat!! And wash his clothes!
Then he will burn the Kmart store down! cause it sucks!!!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!

Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!

Captain Douche Bag! by james franks the 3rd October 31, 2005

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Douche Captain

One who so excels at being a douchebag, they have been appointed to a position of leadership among their douchebag crew.

"That guy doing the guido dance - total douche captain."

Douche Captain by giber1 December 15, 2008

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Captain Douchebag

An assclown that generally speaks as if they know what they are talking about however has no fucking clue. Different than just the plain assclown by their pure consistancy has earned a rank of captain, yet are not quite the level of an admiral, which requires a lifelong dedication to being a douchebag.

Can also be identified by their need to tell long winded retarded stories about their friends who are also douchebags of lower rank with lame nick-names consisting of the names "bone" and "dawg."

Shit lets go, here comes captain douchebag again.

Captain Douchebag by DrSmooth June 22, 2005

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captain douchebag

The biggest douchebag in the history of time. A person who exemplifies all that it means to be a douche.

Zach Pannenton is captain douchebag
those who don't even know his name simply know him as the captain.

captain douchebag by ShooToKill August 13, 2006

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captain douchetastic

A person who becomes severely agitated when they are called a douche/douchebag or any other form of the word douche.

Guy 1: Have you met Milo?
Guy 2: You mean captain douchetastic?
Guy 1: Yeah, that's him.

captain douchetastic by DavidCarradine February 10, 2008

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Captain DoucheBeard

He is one of the few Admiral Douchebags, sailing the office halls, highschools, and other public places. Often confused with Captain Redbeard, but rather than being a ginger, he has jet black hair.

He is often seen wearing a pair of sunglasses a wifebeater. Nothing can stop his greasy hair and fake Italian/New Jersian accent, for he as always dreamed of being a cast member on the Jersey Shore

He spends his days pointing at his biceps, following women, making promises he can't keep, blasting his shitty music, revving his car at anyone who dares walk "his" streets, lifting 20-pound dumbells while drinking Martinis, tanning while it's cloudy out, insulting anyone who wears the wrong brand shoes, complaining about his cellphone service, emptying gallons of spray deodorant, and banging your girlfriend.

Tom: What a douche!
Brady: That's Captain DoucheBeard.

Captain DoucheBeard by iSpeakDaTruthz March 4, 2011

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Frothability

The measure of an emotional and over zealous consumer in an upwardly charging market, also known as a bull market. It's characterized by rising asset prices, increased investor confidence, and favorable growth in the markets, bro.

The frothability was evident as over-zealous consumers eagerly engaged in bidding wars, driving property prices to unsustainable levels reminiscent of previous speculative bubbles.

Frothability by cptn.kagaroo1 January 26, 2024

Word of the Day on November 12, 2026

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Soul digger

A man who dates women with the sole purpose of exploiting their time, energy, and labor while he sucks the joy and happiness from their lives.

"That guy's a soul digger. He'll expect you to work full time, but you'll be doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, and childcare while he plays video games or watches TV."

Soul digger by anonymous November 11, 2026

Word of the Day on November 11, 2026

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pod person

A person pretending to be something they aren't, or an impostor. This is inferred because of the old alien movies where alien pods appear on earth and the "pod people" dispose of the humans and slowly reproduce the bodies, pretending to be humans.

The pod person was pretending to be my father, but I knew that he was an alien when he acted differently than my father ever would have.

pod person by Christopher M. May 9, 2005

Word of the Day on November 10, 2026

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dead drop

A dead drop is a location used to secretly pass items between two people, without requiring them to meet.

Spies have been known to use dead drops, using various techniques to hide the items and to signal that the drop has been made. Drug dealers use this as well.

A common place is to duct tape the item to the underside of a toilet cover in a public restroom.

A signal is sometimes used as well to indicate there is something to pickup, like a pile of stones in a certain formation. After checking the drop the signal is removed.

"The dead drop is the restroom toilet at the Gulf station at the corner of Commercial Ave. and Georges Rd."

dead drop by rubberroom July 23, 2008

Word of the Day on November 9, 2026

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No Surprises Wedding

A "No Surprises Wedding," or NSW, is a wedding invitation designation that tells attendees that there can be no unplanned announcements, engagements, events or speeches at the wedding - all actions must be pre-approved by the couple. Anyone who performs an unapproved "surprise" will be asked to leave the wedding early.

This designation comes from Reddit, where so many stories of bad wedding behavior indicated a need to communicate expectations for the wedding behavior of attendees.

You are cordially invited to the nuptials of Brian and Tom on October 31 at noon.

Please note that this wedding is child-free (under 10) and a No Surprises Wedding (NSW). Reach out to wedding planner Sami Smith to request approvals or exceptions; please note that exceptions will be rare. Limited child care for under-10s will be available. All approvals will be noted and included in planning. Unapproved, or surprise exceptions, will result in guests being asked to leave.

No Surprises Wedding by dbdefenestrate August 27, 2023

Word of the Day on November 8, 2026

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ulzzang

Ulzzang true definition is "best & "face" = best face in korean. They are basically people with above average looks, sometimes with the use of photoshop and haduri who post their pics online, some becoming internet celebrities.

"Hey, see that chick over there? She's pretty enough to be an ulzzang. :D"

ulzzang by `r i k kit t y February 26, 2008

Word of the Day on November 7, 2026

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