The male who is responsible for inviting along female companions when a group of males decide to go out. The Ass Captain has no other responsibility other than to ensure the women show up for the evening.
Joe is the Ass Captain for the night since he met a group of girls on the Internet last night and they agreed to roll out with us.
Individual who goes out and beyond the call of duty to make a total asshole out of himself whether it be too much to drink or just in general acting like a real asshole..
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.