though located in New Jersey, this seemingly affluent town boasts its suburbian relation to NYC. the children of this town are enveloped in the drive to success that severely plagues this town, therefore increasing the alloted number of assholes per square mile to well beyond the national average. the past superiority of this town's sports program is the crutch on which we stand on, and this idea of furthering old reputations is the axis by which this crap vortex spins.
MOM 1: So I just signed up Tommy for SAT classes
MOM 2: Well gosh Luanne, you're cutting it kind of close there.

-Tommy is three.
by Dr. Petix June 26, 2005
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Nestled in the heart of Union County, Westfield (commonly referred to as “The Field” or “The 07090” by locals) is only twenty-two miles from the City (NYC). Because of Westfield's close proximity--only a train ride away on the New Jersey Transit--Westfield is an affluent, upper middle class town. Next to Summit, Westfield is the wealthiest town in the county with a median household income in the six figures. With this statistic it is no surprise that BMW's, Audi's, and Mercedes are popular modes of transportation. However, it is important to keep in mind a majority of the cars that line the streets are not autobahn inspired machines. Once a while a Bentley, Ferrari, Maserati, or Aston Martin can be seen driving down East Broad Street. Similar to most town’s in which there are train tracks, Westfield is separated into two sides by the Raritan Valley line of New Jersey Transit: the North Side and the South Side. The North Side is stereotyped by large sprawling houses, such as those on Kimball Circle and up Lawrence Avenues, however not every house has a four car garage, a land rover, and a pool. The South Side is characterized as the “poor” side, which only makes sense to the slightest degree. The houses are smaller, but the South Side does have many nice sections, and should by no means be regarded as poor

Westfield is most notably known for its downtown. There has been a lot of change over the past several years as rising rents have ran many "mom and pop" shops out of business causing mall stores to open. In recent years, the downtown has become an outdoor "branch" of the Short Hills Mall with stores such as Black White, Banana Republic, Gap, Lord and Taylor and Williams Sonoma.

Westfield takes pride in their sports teams and school system. Similar to a previously mentioned post, Westfield does pride itself some of its past sporting history, especially with football and baseball. However, in recent years, Westfield has been making comebacks in these two sports. Because all Westfielders are forced to play soccer or lacrosse while in their mother’s fetus, it is no surprise soccer and lacrosse are Westfield’s most proudest sports teams, despite some lackluster performances over the past year. Although the Westfield Outdoor Tennis Club (called “The Outdoor” by Westfielders) has a waiting list for adults, many parents register their children for the junior development program as soon as their child is physically capable to pick up a felt, yellow ball. This early intervention has served as the basis for Westfield continued success in Tennis. Westfield is also very good in Golf, as there are two private golf courses and 3 public golf courses within five miles. But Westfield is truly a powerhouse in swimming. Similar to the pre-natal preparation regarding soccer, lax, and tennis, many parents feel the need to join Memorial Pool, or for those who want to brag about their cabanas, Nomahegan, prior to the child’s birth.

Westfield high school is regarded as a top high school in the state. Although the town may argue this is because of the challenging course curriculum, the school system’s success is most likely a result of the pressure put on by parents. Many children get SAT tutors before the student enters middle school. Because of this Westfield High School students have a work hard, party harder philosophy on life. Students will spend hours during the school week helping out the community, participating in clubs and sports of all kinds, and school work. However, on the weekends, students like to let loose. However many of the parties in Westfield are invite-only, so if you’re not personally invited by the party thrower, you may have trouble getting in. Many students realize by the time they reach college, they can outdrink, and outruit (yes, in the The Field “beer pong,” as you may say, is called Ruit) their roommates and colleagues. Because Westfield Police can be nasty and outright dicks, many westfielders are able to handle themselves in the presence of public safety officers while completely intoxicated. After a long night of partying, Bagel Chateau, Diner or Hershey’s are popular destinations to cure one’s hangover. If one were to walk down the halls of the high school, many students would be sporting Lacoste and Ralph Lauren polos, limited edition Jordans or Air Force Ones, and North Face jackets and backpacks.

All in all, Westfield is the shit. Despite the town’s rich reputation, the kids are not ostentatious unlike other wealthy towns and are down to earth and know how to have a good time.
(Back from college)

Mary: So glad to back in Westfield. Can't wait to throw it down and get a ruit tourney
Matt: Yeah, what would break be in the field without a lil ruit. My house is open tonight.

(Later that day)

James: Yo,I heard you were throwin it down.
Matt: Yeah, man, but no can do bud. Invite only

(Next day)
Matt: I'm so hungover
Mary: Yeah, I need a taylor ham egg and cheese or trinidad asap
by Westfield For Life January 10, 2009
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Can I hit your juul
“You from Westfield”
by too accurate February 1, 2021
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A working class town in western mass near springfield where there's nothing but liquor stores, dive bars, empty store fronts, chinese food, pizza, and way too many stupid baldheaded asshole cops with nothing better to do than give you shit.
guy 1: Yo, I'm goin to westfield to see my buddy and get fucked up
guy 2: Nice, watch out for all those westfield cops man!
by imfuckinLOSINit March 7, 2011
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Home of the Westfield Blue Devils. The white people who live here are all upper middle class and will let you know that. Westfield High School is home to one of the best athletic programs in the state of New Jersey. They’ll definitely whoop your ass in tennis, swimming and golf. They’ll also most likely whoop your ass in football, soccer, baseball and lacrosse. If you live here, then you most likely played soccer and lacrosse at one point in your life so that’s why those to sports are pretty fucking good. During school you’ll see lots of people getting suspended for juuling in class and in the bathroom. There are some very smart kids in the school who end up being very successful in life, but there are also some kids who are fucking retarded and only get into college because of their parents money. Most Westfield high schoolers try to go as hard as possible on the weekends. If your not in the popular crowd, then you most likely won’t get invited to go to the ragers. Guys will do anything at parties to be noticed by the hot chicks. Everyone her wears either polo or vineyard vines. There are two sides to the town divided by the train tracks, the north and south side. The north side is considered the richer side even though both are filthy rich. The south side is considered the poorer side. And then there’s Cacciola (if your from Westfield then you know what I mean). So if you ever come to here just remember one thing, most people are fucking dicks, but there’s some nice people.
Tim: yo did you see that Westfield won again?
John: yeah of course they did, are you going to the after party?
Tim: I wasn’t invited, can you get me in?
John: no fuck you tim.
by Whatupbitches123 November 24, 2017
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An asshole town in NJ, mostly known to be completely unaware of the rest of the world because it is caught up in it's own shit. If you don't play a sport and don't own vineyard vines, there is no chance that the Westfield clan will assimilate you. It's a good public school system but most people don't even try because they know that their dad's money will back them up in life. Most kids end up going to Penn State to party. Everyone here is opinionated and isn't afraid to tell you who they voted for, but it's a problem because nobody listens to each other. Basically, get the hell out of here when you can.
Kid: "Hey where are you going to college after WHS?"
Westfield kid:"We are!"
-every senior from WHS ever

Kid: "Yeah I'm pretty worldly."
College interviewer: "Where are you from?"
Kid: "Westfield"
College interviewer: "Hahaha funny joke"

Westfielder: "Who did you vote for? Well I'll tell you who I voted for I voted for Trump because Hillary should be in jail."
"Sir, you're at McDonalds can I just take your order?"
by Sara Fellows December 21, 2016
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A town full of rich white Wiggers. I know some kids from Westfield trying to act ghetto and listen to rap, and one of them carry cigarettes to act cool..
Wigger: "I'm so gangsta!"
Person from Newark: "Oh really? where are you from?"
Wigger: "Westfield"
Person from Newark: "HAHAHA! just shut up, U ain't Gangsta"
by Da Real Deal, fool.... December 11, 2010
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