The Turning Burger is a lesser known (yet undeniably effective) strategy for consuming burgers, sandwiches, and any other foods with the same basic property of multiple ingredients being loosely held together.
The leading heuristic for eating burgers in modern times involves approaching it from one side, and one side only. While this does
grant the benefit of allowing one to "eat lazily", this crude and outdated procedure suffers from one major downfall.
Of course, this would be 'meat
shift'. According to Urban
Dictionary, 'meat
shift' is defined as:
"a phenomenon that occurs when eating a
hamburger or sandwich exclusively from one side so the meat and other ingredients
shift, causing the last couple bites to have an unproportional mixture of ingredients"
Recently, a breakthrough was made and an algorithm, The Turning Burger, has been proved to be optimal for burger consumption. The strategy involves 'turning' the burger slightly after each and every bite. This causes the ingredients to constantly
shift towards the center, setting up the optimal last bite, packed full of all the ingredients the burger or sandwich has to offer.
Notes:
- theta, the amount one must 'turn' the burger varies depending on the amount of force the individual applies with each bite as
well as the slipperiness of the ingredients at hand
Person 1: Oh no! My last
bite from this burger is all bread!
Person 2: You
haven't heard of The Turning Burger? My last
bite includes all the ingredients you've always dreamed of!
Person 1: =(
