swear to god

A phrase that liars use as a last ditch attempt to instill belief in themselves to the person they're trying to con. It's always easy to spot a bullshitter when they pull out the infamous "I swear to god!"

Cop: "Are these your needles and crack pipes that I found in your car and jacket pockets?"

Burn out highschool kid: "No they're not! I swear to god they're not! I SWEAR TO GOD!"

Cop: Hmmmm.....

by kakarotch August 21, 2007

say swear to god!

exclamation said in response to being told something super awesome you are hesitant to believe.

theodore: ...and then she just straight up grabbed my d*ck in the middle of the lecture!
chadwick: say swear to god!
theodore: *holds hands up to show that no fingers are crossed* swear to god! she just grabbed my sh*t!

by geegz April 8, 2009

It was a joke i swear to god

What you type into your web browser after you type in something sketchy into your web browser. You type it to make sure the FBI doesn't get you. I promise it was a joke.

I pulled a " It was a joke I swear to God".

by FroggerJGWentWorth June 8, 2017

I swear to god

A word used which means your getting on somebody nerves I would stop it if I was you.

John - *poke* *poke* *poke*
Mary - I swear to god if you don't stop
John- *poke* *poke* *poke*
Mary - *Shoots John* I TOLD YOU TO STOP

by Live me dude April 13, 2017

I swear to god, I'll fill your sinuses with urine.

A great threat for if someone is being particularly bothersome or you want to somehow lose their contact. Let's say your ex won't stop texting you after it's been a month since you've broken up and you want to just- scare them off a little bit. Maybe even get 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 to block 𝘺𝘰𝘶. This is the perfect threat for you.

Take one more step towards me and I swear to god, I'll fill your sinuses with urine.

by GenderIsBullCrap January 28, 2021

I swear to God

When you swear to God

I swear to God if you don’t buy me maccys I’m not gonna be your friend

by Sherly:) October 9, 2018

say i swear to god

something you say to somebody when you don't really give a shit about their story. this is a phrase usually used when somebody else won't shut the fuck up about something you don't give a fuck about. you usually let them talk for a little while but when they get to the point of being annoying, that's when you tell them, "Say I swear to God." In short, it's just another way to let somebody else know you don't care. When you tell them to say "I swear to God," they usually get the message right away after saying "I swear to God," and shortly afterwards realizing that it means you don't care.

Melissa: Cancun was so awesome! We were at the bar every night! We met totally hot guys! One night we all danced on the bar after we did like, 20 jelly shots apiece! And then Jill made out with some guy who was like, 35 years old! We were all dying laughing! It was so funny!

Me: No way! Say I swear to God! (in a cocky ass, sarcastic manner)

Melissa: I swear to God! (realizing you don't care)

by TwanDiggity September 3, 2005