strangling

Lacking crucial information, time, money, or energy.

My baby mama asked for that child support, but I said, "I'll get it to you in a week, I'm strangling right now."

strangling by Dizastaa November 26, 2014

strangling a cat

when someone is singing very badly...
as in the sound a cat would make if you where choking it.

(in a kareoke bar)..

"Jesus Christ! Is someone strangling a cat?!"

strangling a cat by jjjj23467 October 9, 2008

Strangling Kojak 

Masturbating
Choking the chicken
Beating the bishop
Taking matters into your own hands
Holding your sausage hostage
Having a date with Pam and her five friends
Having a tug-o-war with the cyclops

I couldnt catch any chickenheads last night. So, I went home and strangled Kojak whilst the dog licked my balls

Strangling Kojak by Drilla Killa November 4, 2004

Strangling a toad 

Taking a wet shit.

What are you doing in there?! It sounds like you're strangling a toad!

Hey hurry up in there! It stinks out here! What are you doin'? Strangling the toad?!

D: What's that noise?
J: It's Os.
S: It sounds like he's strangling a toad.

Strangling a toad by Tall White Glasses Man. May 16, 2009

Strangling a Two-Headed Unicorn

When someone gives you a freaked-out look that is so insanely filled with disbelief and confusion, that it is unable to be described with unmythical creatures.

Jane: Starts to sing Circle of Life while doing a pregnant dance in a thong bikini

Jane's Grandmother: *looks at her like she's strangling a two-headed unicorn*

Strangling a Two-Headed Unicorn by PSEUDONYM711WABAFE January 5, 2012

strangling the stank monkey 

When you stop showering for 3 or more days but still masturbate despite the awful smell of your genitals

Dude I haven't showered in a week, but I'm being brave and strangling the stank monkey twice a day.

strangling the stank monkey by Big Ebs February 15, 2014

strangling the disobedient meat monster 

The clinical term for "masterbation."

See fap, choking the chicken, jerkin my gerkin, spanking the monkey, whacking the weasel, jerking off, squirting the main vein, pleasuring yourself, inappropriate touching, old men, old men weiner, beating off, and animal sex.

During school, at work, and on the phone, I find myself strangling the disobedient meat monster.

strangling the disobedient meat monster by Joey Orgler 3 October 21, 2008