According to David Cross (an approximation):
SQUARE BAGELS! SQUARE
FUCKING BAGELS! THIS IS THE NEW GENERATION'S BAGEL MAN.
DON'T BE OPPRESSED BY THE TYRANNY OF ROUND! THAT'S FOR YOUR OLD MAN, MAN. LOOK AT HIM, HE DROPS HIS BAGEL AND IT ROLLS AWAY! BOO HOO! NOT ME, MAN, I DROP A SQUAGEL AND IT'S RIGHT
FUCKING THERE MAN, IT'S RIGHT THERE! SO FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCK! FUCK YOU MOTHERRFUUCK!!!!!!!
Jim: Dude, I just had a squagel, it was pretty good.
Stan: What's a squagel?
Jim: A
square bagel...
Stan: Shut the fuck up and never talk to me or come near me.. ever again you fucking piece of shit.