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Smear Up

Ransid toilet durge. Often the consequence of 2 or more pints of Guiness. A form of crusted shit stain that lies witness to the previous passing log, often on the right side of the pan. Has been known to even 'splashback' to the rim block, but this is only possible with uncanny skill. Most often left for all flatmates to admire in full glory.
Fuck me, i cant even shift that with an elephant piss.
by Bell April 27, 2004
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general smear update

UPDATE 30/10/2023 (365 days after incident) (MA15+ description below please be aware of this shit. parental guidance recommended)

and we're back.
back where it all began. c17
general shmear's absence from this classroom has not had any affect on the state of the walls. brown, gloomy, gritty, shitty are just some of the adjectives i may use to describe the condition of the bricks. our very own MX has attempted to cover up shmear's acts with the use of a large poster. but the smell is still present.

the GENERAL has infiltrated another classroom, another teacher, another set of students and yet again another wall. in the last year, the general has recruited several additional members into his shit army and in remembrance of his late father COMMANDER SHMEAR, he has named his son Sameer. This boy has a shit ton of potential. The future for this boy is very very...shit. But lets take a dial back in time, back to how Sameer was conceived. General placed his brown sticky wand of magic into Mx Shmear. But it was too late as Smear realised that the he had taken it too far (approx. 1.5mm). He gasped as he exclaimed "Oh shit!", excreting substance from both ends.

his BRONW eyes stare 'into the future he has sweeping faeces from the sewers of sydney, crying "fuck this shit" as he works.

Thus we have an unfortunate announcement to make.... The time is here. To all that leave their homes, be wary, FEAR THE SHMEAR, GENERAL'S HERE!!!
Saranyan: Haven't heard of shmear in a while.
Rishi: Heard he blew up a school bathroom the other day i think its time to make a general smear update.
Saranyan: Good idea.
by thedailyaussieboy October 29, 2023
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Swear Up

To sarcastically suggest that you are speaking the truth, although you and probably the other people know that you are lying.
Dave: Steve bruv, did you see that Man just jump 50 ft in to the air?
Steve: Nah!! Actually?
Dave: Yeah bruv, swear up.
by abcdefg h May 22, 2014
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I solemnly swear I am up to no good

Phrase that allows a person to see what is on the Marauder's Map. Told to Harry Potter by Fred and George Weasley
"When you want to open the map, say I solemnly swear I am up to no good; to close it, say mischief managed.
by LitTeacher July 6, 2015
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general smear (the second update: 25.04.24)

The shitty-doings of General Smear continue to drown the students of Baulko. It started with the walls and students but at one point... he just could not hold it in any longer. Students. Teachers. Principal. AND ESPECIALLY the Janitor was smeared all over. Fortunately, following this disastrous attack, we can identify one particular victim and gain a 69-minute interview with the boy himself. NAMELY, Zuhair, or as his new name post-catastrophe, ZuShit. This momo dupe of a Bengali boy just wanted to learn about the ideal GAS laws, especially GAY loose(nut)sacks law. However, the general had other plans. ZuShit was surprised to learn he would not only learn the theory of how gas is formed but rather was given an unexpected practical on how gases turn into brown precipitates. Feeling like he had learnt a lo that lesson he gleefully walked out the corridor when he noticed something... a stench. Connecting the brown dots, he took a glance down at his feet evidently covered, shmeared and engulfed by the general's signature premium shit. he ran to confront the general who was shitting in the female cubicle as he was in a quite a hurry. The stench was simply too blasphemous.

Knock Knock!
"get out buddy i am trying to cook up tonight's dinner! please wait your turn"
"no you don't understand what you have done. my parents bob and sam will not accept me. they will sent me back to syria.

"mate i don't have time for this shit! piss off."
Saranyan: Damn bro i feel really bad for ZuShit.

Rishi: yeah no cap fanum tax ohio rizzler.

Saranyan: must be a shitty experience

ZuShit!: hey dont make fun of me guys!!!🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Rishi: i think its time to let the public know general's true powers in the latest general smear (the second update: 25.04.24)
by dailybritishbrownboy March 24, 2024
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