Slinoleum 

A product used by middle aged dudes with dad bods to make their hair more attractive.

Tommy really went hard with the Slinoleum today. Must be taco Tuesday at the senior center.

Slinoleum by kingofkeizer February 8, 2022

linoleum knife 

Noun: A type of knife with which one will get their lips cut off, and tounge cut out with if they make out in a movie theatre.

From the Aqua Teen Hunger Forcer Colon Movie Film For Theatres

"If you make out here,
I will cut your lips and tongue
from your head
with a linoleum knife."

linoleum knife by Rachel Horowitz April 29, 2007

linoleum knife 

The weapon of choice of the band Mastodon, featured as the band at the beginning of Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters.

"If you make out here I will cut your lips and tongue from your head with a ... linoleum knife."

linoleum knife by c gizzel May 2, 2007

linoleum 

A slick surface material used for the flooring of many rooms, most notably bathrooms and kitchens.

"Linoleum clearly doesn't mean a breakdancing surface"

linoleum by Mike Doherty September 16, 2005

Cut You Up With A Linoleum Knife 

An important public service announcement projecting the affects of movie theater n'er do wells' actions. Originally written by Mastodon for the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie for Theaters, it has gained much YouTube attention, and one day may be legally required to be played before every motion picture in any movie theater in America.

After watching the "Cut You Up With A Linoleum Knife" video, the young, rowdy teenagers shaped up before heading to the movie theater to watch "The Exorcist"

Cut You Up With A Linoleum Knife by BrutalMastodon August 21, 2010

linoleum 

A shaved bush. The opposite of shag carpet. Smooth.

Damn. Her linoleum was slick last night. My face skidded off her pussy and I fell to the floor.

linoleum by Merkin Donor January 4, 2008

linoleum polisher 

Like carpet muncher, except with a girl that shaves.

Guy 1: I think she's a carpet muncher.
Guy 2: Well... I've heard (Girl 1) shaves, so technically is (Girl 2) a carpet muncher?
Guy 1: ...Well I guess that makes her a linoleum polisher!

linoleum polisher by illEATurHARTout May 24, 2005