A short dick man is an entitled dude that cannot bare to let his toxic masculinity get brutally and utterly butt-fucked by principals of femininity and aspects of love. He comes off as a real douche and will do anything to ensure his friends know that he is not about that soft life. He often radiates fuckboy vibes which is what you would expect, hence his lack of personality corresponds to the lack of dick that he has.
Samantha: Why can't we cuddle Mitch?
Mitch: Cuddling throws off my vibe. I don't want the lads to think I am a softie
Samantha: We are over! You are a SHORT DICK MAN!
Is the condition - which generally affects older malse, post mid life crisis. Symptoms include clearly overcompensating for lack of plausible "mojo". Being an absolute douche bag yet being blissfully unaware.
Old man short dick disease can generally be identified by his balding head, prestigious car such as a Lamborghini, Ferrari or Maserati and is at most times accompanied by a perky blonde in her 20s.
Yet don't be fooled this is the full extent of this mans alluring qualities.
When you drive past that Lamborghini and see an 58 year old man, generally unatractive and balding. Promo girl in the passanger seat with a great boob Job - you can now think to yourself
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'