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Settlebeck 

Settlebeck-or otherwise known as specialbeck is a small school Settlebeck has “values” these values are not rules given by staff but merely guidelines they include: not being able to wear a coat inside even if the walls are starting to form icicles from the lack of heating or from the freezing wind because the windows and doors need to be open and your having hypothermia, do NOT wear your coat inside!! Especially if it’s got a visible logo or it’s not dark school colours you will definitely get spanked. Another one of there “values” is that you must NOT take a hot drink outside of the canteen and if you do an slt will magically appear and Lob the boiling water dispenser at you. In PE if you do not have long hair, you must tie it up and if you don’t want to put it up, you get locked in the changing rooms while the PE teacher shaves your hair off as well as your eyebrows for being a prick. Although not required it is frowned appon at settlebeck if the teachers have a good dress sense at all for example some of the TAs who look like they’ve raided my nans house of her curtans and sofa pattern. Behind the stage in the hall smells worse than pablo Escobars basement and it also probably has some of his relatives work there too. A gang of year 10s and 11s are known to force feed hard drugs (MDMA , mushrooms, ket, coke) to primary school children especially the year ones and mr Cayley is an easy target and ginger who could be Ed Sheehan’s long lost brother.
“It smells like settlebeck
Settlebeck by Shrek is My bitch August 9, 2021
Urban Dictionary Merch

Settlebeck 

A shit school in which the headteacher Sarah Campbell preaches about how much she cares for every student which is complete bullshit because she kicks kids out for struggling with their mental health therefore jeopardising their whole future because they aren’t allowed to sit their gcses. You get detention for breathing too loud or looking at a teacher wrong and mr greenwood is an insensitive twat who should be fired for being a cunt
Person one: what school do you go to?
Person two: settlebeck

Person one: oh god that’s a shame I hope you recover soon
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