procrapsturbate

When you procrastinate doing a task by masturbating while taking a dump on the toilet.

Roy: I just got home from eating Mexican food and should be mowing the lawn, but decided to go in the bathroom and procrapsturbate instead.

by Troys Favorite Friend October 21, 2009

procrapsturbate

When you have work to do and you have to go poop, but after pooping you sit on the toilet and masturbate because you don't want to go back to work.

See also procrasturbate and poopcrastinate.

"I had been working on calc homework for like an hour so I went to the bathroom for a routine poopcrastination...little did I know my stupid stepdad had been over the night before and left his Hustler on top of the toilet. Before I knew I had started to procrapsturbate."

by fisalerkle July 18, 2014

Procrapsturbate

When one says they are going to defecate instead of finishing their work, but they are actually going to rub one out on the toilet.

"Hey aren't you gonna finish that 10-page paper"
"Nah man I've been holding in this poop all day"
(Proceeds to procrapsturbate)

by maxreboband August 30, 2017

Procrapsturbate

To procrapsturbat is to procrastinate from doing work, or taking friends to the store, while taking a shit. Then deciding to squeeze one out to fill in the whole hour.

Thankfully I had my phone on me, so that I could procrapsturbate on the shitter instead. With this I can incognito mode some xvideos while and polish the rod once the kids are in the pool.

by Animism May 5, 2018

Procrasturbate

/prə(ʊ)ˈkrasturbert/
verb
past tense : procrasturbated; past participle : procrasturbated

delay or postpone action and masturbate instead; put off doing something and have a wank.

Roger wanted to mow the lawn this afternoon but procrasturbated a couple of times and now has a sore wrist. Hand to gland combat ruins lives...

by WelshRuffster May 11, 2016

Procrasturbating

Using masturbation to otherwise occupy yourself while pressing matters await.

I had a paper due today, but I spent all night procrasturbating, so fuck that noise.

by The Middle Man January 29, 2003

procrasturbate

1.) To waste time (procrastinate) by pleasuring oneself (masturbate), putting off other work that one should be doing by masturbating.

2.) To screw oneself (figuratively) by not doing work when one should be.

I had an english paper due, but I spent all day yesterday procrasturbaiting, and boy am I in trouble now.

by spizzman November 30, 2004