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Pootend

When one pretends to be taking a poo in order to get caught up on social media while also avoiding familial obligations
"He can't help bathe the kids because he's too busy pootending"
by AgeCristini July 1, 2017
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Poopendestop

A plug to stop shit coming out involuntarily
I have the runs so bad, I wish I had my poopendestop with me today!
by Standen January 25, 2017
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Pootential

The amount of poo someone can squeeze out in one stop to the bathroom.
Todd: Hey man, just took a shit
Fred: wow, how'd it go?
Todd: Pretty good, but i don't think i reached my full pootential
by TheBlooperREAL October 25, 2009
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i pooted

to fart/pass gas, in the past tense.
have also heard it for synonym for poo, but I believe the meaning is to pass wind.
as Cheese says "Dudes, I pooted" all around are somewhat disgusted by the stench.
by Oz1 August 8, 2007
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poontending

Tending to your poon. When you have to spend time with your fine lady friend instead of doing something possibly more exciting.
I'd like to go out tonight, but I have some poontending to do.

I wish that i had a high poontendance in my classroom...
and by classroom i mean pants
by josedagardner March 27, 2006
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Pooterdick

When you have a physically unsettling feeling because of being sick, having a hang over, or from not getting enough sleep.
Kevin just ate too much chinese food and now he feels like pooterdick.

Liz came home at 6am from partying too much and she looks like pooterdick.
by arrowbrooke April 13, 2010
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Protender

The act of one pretending or proclaiming to be a pro athlete when in reality they are not. Particularly common in the sport of triathlon.

Protenders are fond of applying for as much sponsorship as possible. They are proud to wear more logos than a NASCAR and claim to have "signed" with these sponsors. Yet, in reality, their sponsorship is little more than a cost discount.

Sadly there are several instances of protenders bending the truth or blatantly lying to potential sponsors in order to land a sponsorship, thus stealing said sponsorship from deserving real pros.

Protenders are almost always slow, non-competitve and little more than pack fodder.
"Did you see the new Team Timex roster? What a bunch of protenders".
by eire8tri January 12, 2011
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