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Phone Wanker 

Someone with an overwhelming obsession with their phone, phone related apps and equipment. Someone with a new phone who is generally a boring person with nothing relevant or interesting to talk about. Someone with an aggressive need to show you their phone and tell you about its uninteresting attachments.
Look at my new phone, it has an app that comes up with interesting phone related conversation starters. Check out how much music my phone has! Why would I want to sleep with you when, instead we can talk about how much memory my phone has. I have no personality but my phone can be used as a metal detector. I am a complete Phone Wanker!
Phone Wanker by The Scuzzy one October 28, 2010

Phone Wanker 

Someone who attends a live music event and insists on filming the performance on their phone instead of enjoying the atmosphere. Exactly what these dipshits do with the footage after the event is unclear but it's likely it just sits on their phone, acting as a reminder of the performance they attended in person but largely watched via a 5 inch screen. The Phone Wanker is further characterised by the person filming the event with their phone in a vertical/portrait orientation, thus rendering the footage unusable for any purpose other than viewing it on their phone. Sadly all attempts to capture the event for prosperity (or perhaps bragging rights) are rendered useless anyway since the diminutive microphone on the phone is inadequate when faced with the venues high powered speaker stack.
I went to see Rag n Bone man in concert last week. Amazing gig but I was surrounded by Phone Wankers who insisted on filming it!
Phone Wanker by JayWon April 21, 2017

Wanker phone 

A mobile phone with many unnecessary features, usually used by businessmen, or wankers, also people who think they are cool, usually a sign of a small penis. Proper wanker phones will be operated by means of a stylus, or "wanker stick".
Wanker phone by eltankos January 27, 2009

Wanker phone 

Mobile phone. Not commonly used today, but was heavily used in the early days of the device. As the prices of phones dropped the term fell out of favour; another case of Tall poppy syndrome?
Look at that guy talking on his wanker phone; is he that important?!
Wanker phone by S!egfried June 16, 2010

Phone Book Wanker 

A waster who calls random numbers from the phone book, usually late at night, for their own amusement.

Very different from a briefcase wanker or buswanker but remarkably bawbagish.
-phone rings late at night and is answered by person who is not a phone book wanker-
silence!
"...Who are you and why are you calling me?"
"eeehhrmm.... who ur you??"
"Not telling you!"
"well yer a wanker then!"

Both parties are aware who the real wanker is, but only one is enough of a wanker to actually state that the person receiving the call is a wanker.
Said wanker - the phone book wanker - will then get bored and either do what wankers do best or go back to his (probably sticky) phonebook to find another hapless victim.
It is said of the situation where a person has the bad luck to make contact with his testicles against an undefined surface or object, intentioned or not.
Given the nature of the word, it is more appropriate to design cases where the interaction is made with a moving object, for example, a ball.
Although it is extremely painful for the victim, it tends to be considerably funny to people who witness it.
Today in the baseball game the pitcher took a nutshot; the baseball hit him in the nuts.

Man, I just watched the funniest nutshot video ever.
Nutshot by Uberflaven March 1, 2009
Word of the Day on June 26, 2026