Optuon

a holy, ever present, consideration of choice based on the new consistent need to avoid stupidity present in the reality about those choosing, while presenting the dichotomous presence of need to discuss the same stupidity, without limits or restrictions.

We could also come up with some off-campus optuons.

Optuon by Duntrune936 April 29, 2020

Teeth Optional 

When you are about to receive a hummer from a woman with dentures. Remove both plates for the traditional Gummer or keep either the Upper or Lower plate in.

Roberta was very upfront about her dentures. Davey really wanted a gobbly. This was a no brainer because of her Teeth Optional honesty.

Teeth Optional by will bitten September 20, 2017

The Calendar Option 

A technique of temporarily “saving face” with colleagues, bosses, customers, and auditors by changing every calendar and clock in a particular workplace in an effort to cover up a missed deadline. “The Calendar Option” is the “Nuclear Option” of work place fault misdirection. “The Calendar Option” should only be used when the monumental task of changing dozens of calendars, clocks, and watches pales in comparison to actually completing ones assigned task on time. Hacking of local computer and cellular networks is usually preferred, as these sources represent the primary ways of determining dates and times. “The Calendar Option” will buy you enough time to prepare a resume, write a cover page, and apply for other jobs in the timespan prior to your superiors realizing you’ve elegantly gamed them to death. Worried about future employment? Don’t! One who can successfully employ “The Calendar Option” is often far under-employed anyway. This fact is clearly demonstrated as the time, energy, intelligence and sheer skill required to pull off the maneuver could be accomplished by no less than an American, tier 1, Special Forces operator who is also a Ninja.

Are you late? Can’t blame a colleague? Can’t blame your computer? Can’t blame the weather? Don’t even bother! Just employ “The Calendar Option” and you won’t need to blame a thing because the calendar and clocks say “you’re not late!”

late nuclear option option ninja bad employee blame

The Calendar Option by Darren Besert January 21, 2016

Create Optionality

Sneaky way to say cheat in a committed relationship.

To leave ones options open (to cheat)

I didn't mean to hurt you- I just needed to create optionality in our relationship.

Create Optionality by babimia September 11, 2020

Nick Option 

When given two options, you answer with a third random one

"Would you rather eat pizza or burgers for the rest of your life"
Nick Option - "Neither I'd prefer sushi"

Nick Option by ThyShooketh November 3, 2020

second option 

Second Choice means that they chose someone over you first but they could always go to you as their second choice (simplified version) they picked someone over you (if that happened to you I'm sorry it did it happened to me to do don't feel alone love you boo ❤️)

He chose her over me which makes me the second option
She chose him over me which makes me the second option
They chose them over me which makes me the second option

second option by playamoungus October 30, 2020

Option J 

Option J
From Wiki Gonzalez

Option J refers to the advice "whip it out" as a solution to any life situation.

The phrase originated in the September 1, 2004 Primer Lounge, in which was discussed what a man should do if a stadium's Kiss Cam were to spotlight him and an estranged ex-girlfriend. Option J was offered by Keith Scott as the ninth potential course of action. There was no option I.

Option J does NOT simply refer to any situation in which the member is exposed. Situations in which it is not an "option", such as urinating or showering, do not qualify. At least one other person must be present, and the situation must be one in which the act does not perfectly fit within social norms, so that an element of shock exists. The term is often incorrectly used to describe self-abuse (masturbation).

You can appropriately use option J in these situations:

-When you don't have enough money to pay bus fare.

-During a parent/teacher conference when your teacher is about to announce to your parent(s) your homework deficiency.

-When you're on the Kiss Cam at a sporting event with an estranged ex.

-During communion.

-at a wedding when the holy man asks if there are any objections to be made.

-to explain option J before verbally trying to explain option J.

Option J by James N. May 13, 2006